Coronavirus and a bored Vickie

Yes, I am back. It's hard to believe that I have not written my blog for 3 years. Apparently I was busy? Doing what I have no damn idea. My daughter told me to get off my butt and do it again. Blame her. I don't apologize for what comes out of my mouth. I can't help it. It's me. Deal with it.

So, today's blog forecast is partly boring, with increased Coronavirus drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.

After this lockdown is over I am going back to Issaquah, Washington to dig up that time capsule I buried as a kid. Can't wait to see how much my brother's puppy grew.

The last time I was at the local bar with my friends Debby and Pam I pointed to three hags sitting across the bar from us. I told them "That's us in 10 years." Pam and Debby just looked at each other, with that WTF? look on their faces. Patti had just walked in and overheard me. Patti said "That's a mirror stupid". Patti said I was nucking futs. Debby and Pam agreed.

If and when they resurrect the Big Wheels bar I hope they name it "Rehab".

Do not regret past mistakes, all decisions, good or bad, they led you to where you are today. Disregard this if you're in prison.
.
Just my wandering thoughts:

With all this time on my hands and very little socializing, I came across a new restaurant. It's called "The Kitchen". I have to gather all the ingredients and make my own meals. I have no idea how this place is still in business.

This morning while I was enjoying my chai latte I watched the birds outside fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1. I wasn't sure which team to root for. Sad baseball season. The umpire was a Robin.

My doctor has always said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.

I have never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

I think life is a bitch. My bitch.

My Mother preferred my imaginary friend over me.

Trust me I have a bit of experience with saying things that should probably just stay in my mouth

Building my tree house years ago was the biggest insult to the trees supporting it. "Here, I killed your friend. Here, hold him."

I now have permanent vision loss due to the excessive eye-rolling at the stupid liberals out there.

I thought Row vs. Wade was George Washington's decision when he reached the Delaware.

Never ever buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He's obviously an undercover cop. Or from Manton.


Just my Isolation Observations.....

Having trouble sleeping at night because you're worried about this coronavirus? I suppose the classic advice would be to count sheep. I say why not go a bit further. Count the sheep. Then name the sheep. Then negotiate the sale of the sheep. Then watch as the sheep are trucked away, knowing little of the fate that will befall them at their new home. See, now you're ready to cry yourself to sleep! Helpful?

I will be glad when this lockdown is over because I am starting to miss people I don't even like.

Walmart is out of batteries. I guess you single ladies really ARE staying home huh?

China has released the names of the first two people who got the Coronavirus. Sum Ting Wong and Ho Lee Fuk.

I spent 85% of my childhood grounded. This is nothing.

So if I violate the stay at home order, I can be arrested. But they are letting people out of jail so they don't get the coronavirus. Ok, that makes sense.

This is like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and my ass is grounded. I miss my freedom.

I imagine by now that a lot of husbands are ready to finally build that she shed.

Home schooling question: Does having your kid fix you mixed drinks count as chemistry?

If the Coronavirus had dirt on the Clintons, it would already be dead.

Is a booty call an "essential need" that we are allowed to leave the house for?......asking for a friend.

This quarantine has been teaching me all along; that the world is unpredictable, uncertain, and there’s nothing you can do to control it. I never thought the comment "I wouldn't touch him/her with a 6 foot pole" would become a national policy, but here we are. I'm excited that the phrase "Get the F**k away from me," is no longer rude but a public service announcement.

Not to hurt anyone's feelings but I'm having a quarantine party this weekend. Sorry, none of you are invited. It's for your own good.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks forward that we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone. This is just crazy.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under, right?

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I admit it, I used to spin that toilet paper roll like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives. So I looked through the house to find all the things I've started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay , a bodle of Jock Danielas, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss.

But on the bright side, my body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

This morning I saw my neighbor Marcia talking to her cat Kibbens.  It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came back into my house, told my 4 dogs..... we laughed a lot.

If you're feeling confined keep a glass of alcohol in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face. True story.

If I die from Coronavirus, don't let me vote Democrat.

Now that the beauty salons are closed it's about to get real ugly out there, right Patti?

This cleaning with alcohol is total B.S.. NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.

Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We’re told “no” if we get to close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides. Kinda’ starting to understand why my dogs try to run out of the house when the door opens.

I’m giving up drinking for the remainder of this self-isolation.  Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Drinking for the remainder of this self-isolation.

Just remember this coronavirus won't last long. It was made in China. Nothing made in China lasts.

Seriously can you imagine the weight our President is feeling right now? When he signed up for this role (without pay) he did it for us...Americans. He didn’t do it for the fame or glory, he had all that. He was willing to take on whatever, but the magnitude of what we’re currently experiencing has got to be paralyzing. And to some, NOTHING he does is ever right or good enough. Do you ever wonder how he must be dealing with it all? When his head finally hits the pillow at night after press conferences and meetings, constantly trying to defend himself and protect our country at the same time can he even shut his mind off at all? He is carrying the weight of OUR country on his shoulders and I don’t think anybody could or would be doing a better job than he is. I think the  "Never Trumpers" out there should not cash their stimulus checks.

Sooo, of all the great books out there in the world, of all the masterful literary achievements around the globe, the brilliant writers, the insightful memoirs.......you've chosen to read this ridiculous blog and have learned absolutely nothing, right?

Just another February

Well, here we are again - The Super Bowl. New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons. I don't enjoy football at all, I don't follow it, I simply don't have any interest in it. I will say if I had to choose one of these teams I would choose the Falcons. I can just see the Patriots fans reactions if their team doesn't win -  New England Patriots fans be like "I refuse to accept the results of this Super Bowl game. On the following day we'll be protesting, picketing, looting, rioting, and forming support groups. #NotMySuperBowl " I mean seriously who can forget QB Tom Brady and the allegation that the New England Patriots deliberately underinflated footballs in the game against the Indianapolis Colts in 2015? Wasn't Brady suspended? Inflategate. Still laughing about that. I suppose it's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters and crab in the ship's kitchen. I suppose deflated footballs are a miracle to Tom Brady. I probably should apologize to any Patriots fans out there. But then, it's me. I don't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth. I just can't help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in. 

My predictions for the future:

2016: Trump was elected President

2018: Border wall completed 

2020: Mexico takes Gold, Silver & Bronze in Pole Vault at the Summer Olympics.

I won't do my normal political bitching so relax........but......I 'm just say'n:

I find it really funny how liberals refer to Trump as an orange s*it-gibbon. If the rest of us referred to Obama using a color and a simeon metaphor, we'd be hung out to dry. Seriously. 

Alls I'm say'n is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any illegal Mexicans bringing in crime and drugs! I think when Trump says Mexico will pay for that wall he doesn't mean the Government but El Chapo's seized 14 billion assets from criminal forfeiture, right? 

And this is from a California poll: 

Do you think that illegal immigration is a real problem?    A. Yes------- 20%     B.  No-------- 10%       C. No comprende---70%

Memories from the past: 

My brother took going to jail really awful. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER EVER played monopoly again.

I always wonder how I can remember lyrics to a song I haven't heard since 1980. But can't, even for a million bucks; remember why I'm just standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Just for fun....because I have a crazy side of me:

I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in my town, then I just sit back to watch the magic unfold.

If I ever put stuff in storage I'm going to write "gold bars", "priceless memorabilia" and "seized drugs" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.

Thinking of you Bridget:  I just want you to know. I removed my windshield wipers and now I don't get parking tickets. 

Just the truth: 

The nice thing about being single is when you're setting the silverware, it doesn't matter which side you put the remote on. 

The brownies my daughter and I  started making in her Easy Bake Oven in 1977 are just about ready if you guys want one. Let me know.

I sent off for some information on my other family tree, you know - on my Mother's Welsh/Irish side. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over. Totally agree.

It's guaranteed to happen. Sitting in the movie theatre, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

I force my dogs to watch animal abuse commercials just to show them how good they have it. I can't watch those ghastly commercials, but I make them watch. 

For my New Year’s Resolution, I had decided to only smoke after sex. If 2016 is anything to go by, I’ve quit. Which brings to mind - I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?

Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.

The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey the Bear thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.

I'm starting to think that life isn't worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there's the bartender now. Nevermind.

I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was my granddaughter Skylar's Etch-a-Sketch and I don't own an iPad.  Also, I'm out of vodka.

When my daughter  visits - We should just drop off my truck at the Sheriff's Department before going out at night so we can drive home in the morning. (If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, we would be unstoppable....oh that in itself is scary!)

The election is over, can't the liberals get over it? I haven’t seen the Democrats so angry since the Republicans took away their slaves.

Just and idea of mine: 

Political candidates should be made to wear NASCAR suits so we can tell who their sponsors are.

Life Lessons: 

No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dogs.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.

It’s always a good time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem. Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!

As always I have questions: 

Why, why, WHY  are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison?

You know what I find questionable? Paintings of Adam and Eve with belly buttons. Think about it.

Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house? And does anyone else find it ironic that "camo" print actually makes rednecks stand out in society?

I know, I've said this before, but come on - on Thanksgiving shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium? 

Ideas for my grandson Jeffrey's career choice:

Military EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) technician. The downside of being a bomb disposal technician? It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts. He would be perfect. This Christmas he took forever. I mean FOREVER. He definitely has the patience!

This is ridiculous!

As it stands now California has a LOT of sanctuary cities and counties. Now the Democratic California legislators wants to make the entire State of California a sanctuary state for all illegal immigrants. Know what that means to us law abiding legal citizens? The U.S. Government will withhold all federal monies from this state when it fails to uphold or comply with federal immigration laws. That's 330 billion California will not receive in grants from the Government. Billions of dollars in federal funding will be withheld.  Think about just how that is going to affect us NON ILLEGALS! Pay attention to Senate Bill 54, written by Democrat Senate President Pro Tem Kevin de Leon of Los Angeles. That bill will also consider providing taxpayer dollars to fund lawyers for illegal immigrants facing deportation. You want me to pay higher taxes to defend illegal immigrants? HELL NO. 

Oh now I'm all depressed - so off I go

I'll never ever forget 2016

Yes, 2016:

The year I climbed Mt. Shasta barefoot in the snow, opened a Finnish crusine food truck selling only Finlandia vodka, got my fishing license because I love to eat fish, parachuted out of a crop plane in Chico, threw out the opening pitch at a S.F.Giants game, filed a patent for wizard doors, rode a camel across Afghanistan, hacked the D.N.C., became fluent in Finnish, Russian and Chinese, tampered with the smoke detector on a Alaska Airlines flight by smoking in the restroom, bled blue and white blood, created a housing development for the gnomes living next door, declared the Clinton's eradicated in America, met a Finn I wasn’t related to, inherited a controlling stake in Amazon delivery drones, negotiated an alternative to Obamacare and signed up twelve million uninsured immigrants, minted a new coin with my dog Shep's likeness on it, sold my majority stake in Amazon drones, released the No. 1 Billboard hit single “I Hate Hillary,” defused 31 Soviet-era landmines, got my first pet black bear, pitched a perfect game for the Seattle Mariners, repealed the Fourth Amendment for non-natural born citizens, went back to night school just to give my 5 dogs some peace and quiet, sold my family vodka recipe to Natural Liquor's, filed for a recount in California, visited the Statue of Liberty in New York (and incidentally a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you're free.") and crippled the nasdaq by cashing in all my loose bar change.

Here’s to 2017 -  

And to the end of the Obama Administration - the President who did nothing but leave America to wallow in racial division.

What I learned in the year 2016:

Mental toughness, happiness and living life to the fullest come from knowing what to care about–and most importantly, what not to care about.

You don't see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don't see psychics winning the lottery every week.

Apparently, driving past our local sheriff cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' their time. Who knew?

Apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.

I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.

Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.

Life Gets (a Lot) Better When You Stop Giving a F*ck.

The only thing holding you back from doing something truly amazing, is you. If you want to do something amazing, don’t just talk about it, just go do it.

As usual I have questions:

Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?

OK. I just want to know who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?

Don't ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they're fake or real?

Aren't we all glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing?

Is it really all that wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren't theirs?

Reflecting back......

My mom put shredded carrots in my Jello, so don't ever  tell me about your rough childhood.

I grew up in a town where the population never changed. Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town.

In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple or Google.

The things parents tell their children! The little piggy who went to market... wasn't going shopping.! Wrap your mind around that for a moment.

I was married at 18. My ex husband and I had been happily married for two years. 1973 & 1978. Which brings to mind - from what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18.  Women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final. Umm, 18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!? 

Congratulations to Finland! 

An entire year of festivities will be happening in Finland to celebrate 100 years of independence from Russia. There will be hundreds of events throughout the year, ending on Dec. 6, the day Finnish Parliament declared independence in 1917. Yay! I will celebrate with you in heart and spirit!

Just my true feelings because I have no filter:

I am so glad Megyn Kelly will be gone from FOX news  before the Trump administration begins. She was too anti-trump for me. Here's hoping either Kimberly Guilfoyle or Judge Jeanine Pirro takes her spot!

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.

An excellent suggestion for Hillary's future, one that would allow President Elect Trump to show his true bi-partisan feelings! Make Hillary Clinton Ambassador to Libya and station her at Benghazi. If things don't work out well, at that point what difference would it make?

There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.

I love animals. Especially the sweet and sour pork at Peter Chu's.

I am dedicated to being opinionated. It works for me so my advice to everyone is: Be a rebel, speak what is on your mind.

Just my usual complaining:

Me shopping at walmart: Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.

Neighborhood potluck Xmas parties with neighbors you don't even know: Sorry I was a no show for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now. I'm not a social person. I am very selective in who I hang with and I seriously don't like groups of people I don't know. Sorry, but thanks for the invite nonetheless. 

My local bar: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.

Finland celebrates "Day of Sisu" 

Every year on February 28th. Apparently this is a relatively new thing from what I understand. Actually I celebrate it every day of my life. What the Finn's call Sisu, all their neighboring countries call stubbornness! My neighbor Marcia can attest to me as being very stubborn, right Marcia? Hell yeah, and damn proud of my stubbornness. It's my mode of survival. If I was younger I could clear a forest bare handed. If I was younger......If I was younger.......If ONLY I was younger. Damnit now I'm depressed. 

Which brings to mind, and I'm not really sure why but It's such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared. No worries for me though because Marcia and Lee are still safe and sound. 

Stop poking the Russian Bear Obama!

We (as a country) have turned our cheek for 8 long years and let enemies from within bring us to the breaking point, thanks to Obama.  We have let this man and this administration take our country into such dark places of depravity that I don't recognize it anymore. Why does our president praise and pay off Iran, ignore China’s man-made island building and region threatening, but provoke Russia? Russia has the second most powerful military in the world. It has the world’s largest nuclear arsenal. I don’t think Russia is our friend, but when it comes to mortal enemies…..America’s all full up. WTH is Obama doing? Quit pissing off the Russian Bear!  His decision to force dozens of Russian diplomats out of the USA and impose new sanctions on Moscow for "allegedly" interfering in the 2016 election was a childish act. Show me and the rest of us Americans that Russia interfered. Where's the proof? Guessing or assuming where and who the hackers were is just plain crazy. This, to me, is insufficient to take any action against anyone or any country.

Compliments of my Finnish cousin Allen.
Perfect cuz, just perfect!

At least Putin did not reciprocate with any similar actions aimed at the American diplomats in Russia. He could have. And he could have done much worse. He didn't.  Good thing at least one president did the presidential thing. Thank you President Putin for not escalating this situation.
Here's the truth of the matter:
Putin: "Actually, we're not going to retaliate in response to the new sanctions".
Putin went on to state: "As it proceeds from international practice, Russia has reasons to respond in kind. Although we have the right to retaliate, we will not resort to irresponsible ‘kitchen’ diplomacy but will plan our further steps to restore Russian-US relations based on the policies of the Trump Administration."  (In other words, 'screw you, Obama, we'll wait for calmer heads to prevail')
Putin also said: "The diplomats who are returning to Russia will spend the New Year’s holidays with their families and friends. We will not create any problems for US diplomats. We will not expel anyone. We will not prevent their families and children from using their traditional leisure sites during the New Year’s holidays. Moreover, I invite all children of US diplomats accredited in Russia to the New Year and Christmas children’s parties in the Kremlin."

Now anyone who knows me knows I hate Putin and I have a very high disregard for the Russian State as a whole.....but, and I mean BUT.......How's that for a class act? When one country (USA) is expelling diplomats, it doesn't look so good when the other (Russia) is effectively shrugging and inviting a bunch of kids to a party in response. Putin's response makes Obama look childish, which I'm assuming is the opposite of what he wanted.

To add insult to injury, Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev tweeted 'RIP' to the Obama administration. The actual tweet looked like this:

????????, ??? ????????????? ?????, ??????? ???????? ???? ????? ? ?????????????? ??????????????, ??????????? ?? ?????????????? ???????. RIP

— ??????? ???????? (@MedvedevRussia) December 30, 2016

(Obviously I don't know how to read Russian, but I assume it was not something to be taken lightly)

What is with the governments of countries nowadays? Tweeting? This social media crap is out of hand! Has nobody learned the lessons of tweeting, facebooking or emailing? 

So, my feelings on all of this, and I know nobody asked but - I grew up during the Cold War. We feared Russia with the mutual destruction from nuclear bombs. I prefer it much more the way things are now, trying to get along in a somewhat mutual "whatever" co-existence.  I'm just going to plow through the chaos, and focus on surviving what comes next. Vladimir Putin is a threat to the world as we know it, we all know that. Back in Reagan's time  Reagan offered his hand to Gorbachev and that worked. Trump has nothing to lose by extending his to Putin. Good relations does not mean we have to back down. Trump and Putin can avert Cold War II because I'd like to believe that they are men who care about their people and want what's best for their countries! Now, if Obama will just stay the hell out of it! I personally would like to see a coalition with the Russians to deal with and destroy the threat ISIS presents to the rest of the world! ISIS wouldn't stand a chance with these 2 countries working together. President Trump (soon to be) would be wise to explore possible alliance with Russia in areas of common interest before seeking yet another enemy of the United States. Besides, our  real enemy is North Korea and/or Iran.  At one time Great Britain was our bitterest enemy, now they are our closest ally. Things can and do change. We managed to work out a peace,however tense, with Stalin, so I imagine we can do it with Putin.  

(Thanks again  cuz Allen )

My thoughts on the Russians hacking the election? I call BullSh*t! This so called hacking didn't involve actually manipulating any voting systems. All it did was air the dirty laundry of the Clinton campaign and the Democrat Party. Hillary and Podesta had their dirty laundry put on display by wikileaks and now nobody is talking about what they all did or said. Freaking Unbelievable. Whoever hacked this crap did nothing but expose the truth. My bets are on an inside job. Even though I hate Putin for my own personal reasons I hope Trump invites Putin to his inauguration. Now that would be something. I think we have very good reason to smooth our relations with Putin and visa versa. Our traditional allies in western Europe are gradually morphing into a Caliphate and when it finally happens both we and Putin/Russia will need each other.

Unbelievable Americans!

A REAL photo!

Christmas in the Finnish Forest 2016:

For the last couple of years there is nothing very traditional about Christmas around my place. Yes, I am the grandmother who makes her grandchildren get on ATV's and drive around the property, in the snow, in the freezing weather, looking for Christmas presents. For some reason good old Santa bypasses my place  (maybe because the woodstove is always burning, who knows, maybe because I got 5 dogs that might chase reindeer and a very fat man?). He just drops them in the trees while passing by. Personally myself I think he's just gotten lazy. Nonetheless the kids love it and even though they obviously don't believe in the fat man they oblige my daughter and I by going out and looking. (do as (someone) asks or desires in order to help or please them.......ha ha ha!) I'm pretty sure these grandkids love this crazy ass Finn Grandmother - they never know what to expect, right?

Yes, I'm showing myself out now, thanks.

I know, I know, you're tired of listening to me. 

 Happy New Year to everyone.

The election results show that corruption matters to the American people.

Before you even read this blog - 

My apologies to anyone who gets offended by my comments towards the Clinton's, Obama, Snowflakes, etc. My philosophy is that true friendship is when  friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side. You should all know by now that I do not have a filter. I always say what's on my mind. 

It's Over, finally OVER:

Well there we have it. America is still a beacon of hope where the impossible is possible. Trump was the tornado. And Hillary was the trailer park. I will be celebrating on January 20th. Not just because Trump will be President, but because Obama will be gone. His policies of the last eight years have been endured by all and rejected by many. 

Just my thoughts on the NFL: 

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick and Indianapolis Colts defensive back Antonio Cromartie can go to hell as far as I am concerned. REAL Americans ..... Stand for the Flag ..... And Kneel for the Fallen ..... Period. If you don't bother to raise for our national anthem, you don't deserve our freedom. Simple. Furthermore, personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.

My Questions:

Why aren't Cadbury eggs available year round?

I'm watching Court TV. Does anyone know what time the Clinton trials start?

Remember that one time when Kanye West made a song dissing gold diggers? Then turned around and married the biggest gold digger in the country?

Hey, If American women were outraged at a presidential candidate's use of naughty words just WHO the heck bought those ... 80 MILLION COPIES OF 50 SHADES OF GREY????

So wait, if I post a letter without a stamp and just put the intended address as the return address, won't it be sent there anyway?

Perhaps Bieber wouldn't need to vandalize walls with graffiti if the restaurants that he goes to would offer him a coloring menu with crayons?

Do gun manuals have a "trouble shooting?" section?

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell?


Thank Goodness the American Elections are over:

 ☐ Clinton ☐ Trump ☑ Vodka

I am so glad this election is over so I can focus on holiday anxiety.  Now the rest of the world can go back to hating their own politicians. Funny isn't it? The deplorables (Republicans) are praying for peace and unity and the tolerant people (Democrats and Libs) are out there protesting and burning down America. The irony of it all. I find it ironic that those people are claiming that Trump will destroy America, while it is they that go out and destroy America. I had no idea there were so many temper tantrum prone clueless spoiled little brats in America. Dear Rioters, This is not Toys R Us where you can throw a fit in the aisle until you get the toy you want. This is an ELECTION. Hillary LOST. Chanting Fu#k Trump and burning flags WILL NOT change that. If stomping on the US Flag or burning it is considered Protected Free Speech ..... Well heck ... Then so is stomping on someone who is stomping on the Flag! I think before people are allowed to protest and try to overturn an election, the protesters should first be required to take a basic Civics 101 class. Too many people today do not understand how our political system works. If you don't understand it then you are ignorant of the basics of how American democracy functions, and lack the knowledge to participate fully in the society it sustains. When it comes to these ignorant childish protesters I just want to say "Vittu, vituttaa niin vitusti!" 

(My apologies to my Finnish relatives for my language but sometimes you just got to say what's on your mind!)

So glad republicans don't ever riot or protest. They have guns but they also have respect for democracy.  Remember there is a difference between a protest and a riot. A protest is what you are constitutionally free to do when the law is broken or disregarded, and you take to the streets to protest the violation of your rights. A riot is when you are a criminal thug, spoiled brat, or anarchist douchebag  that doesn’t get what you want and decides to stage a giant temper-tantrum.



The election taught me another meaning of the word Snowflake: 

Snow-flake :

1. a flake of snow, especially a feathery ice crystal, typically displaying a delicate six-fold symmetry
(This was the only meaning I knew, for the most obvious reasons)

2. American Youth / entitled, pampered, spoiled, / or having perpetual grievance : who have been raised to believe they are special, unique, beautiful, talented, and wonderful regardless of their flaws and intellectual deficiencies; yet melt at the smallest appearance of heat or friction.

Hey Hillary!

Are there any remaining campaign funds to make a trip to a microphone and ask your supporters to chill out? And YOU called ME the deplorable. 

Wikileaks has shown more dirt on you than you can shovel into the grand canyon.

If you had become president you would have the first F President. Oh, sorry. I was going to say female, but the "emale" got deleted.

As an American I'm ecstatic that I don't have to live under your administration. Corrupt administration.

The next vote should be whether you get life in prison or a firing squad. 

I'm sooo glad not to have to hear the liberal media so-called experts anymore. 

It's gotten so bad I'm down to one online channel as my only news source. But hearing the jubilation from my news source is truly uplifting. I haven't felt this relieved since Reagan. Once again I look forward to what my leader has to say instead of turning the TV off whenever the president has something to say. Yes, I turned my TV off whenever Obama spoke. 

Yep I voted against Hillary.  As the last best hope for mankind on earth, it's time that our leaders focus on the things that made America great and not try to water it down by welcoming into our great country hoards of unwashed 3rd world immigrants who have no idea of the responsibilities of what it takes to be an American. By the way - WTH? As an American I was embarrassed by the wailing and literal crying……crying!? of national news figures and celebrities. Miley Cyrus crying on her Skype. She looked stoned. Why were you crying Miley? For once YOU didn’t get exactly what you wanted and expected? For the first time in your pampered life?

PLEASE world do NOT judge us other "sane" Americans by these whining, ignorant, and immature people. Could you please supply them all with hot cocoa and a therapy dog? Maybe some aroma-therapy?

A Letter to Hillary:

Dear Mrs. Clinton;

Nothing happens by chance, by fate. You create your own fate by your actions. That’s Karma. Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve. 

Those who have lied and have been deceitful ultimately pay the price in the long run. You were the one writing your story. Sadly, for you, you were writing in pen and couldn't erase your mistakes. It would have been honorable to admit your mistakes and not to cover them.  America just wanted the truth. But you didn't want to be honest with us. Your words meant nothing when your actions were the complete opposite. There are three signs of a hypocrite: when she speaks she speaks lies, when she makes a promise she breaks it, and when she is trusted she betrays that trust. Your hypocrisy insults our intelligence. Our middle finger salutes your attitude. Lets play fetch. we’ll throw the stick and you don’t ever come back ;) Oh but cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn’t elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison.

Signed, The people you called "deplorable"

My advice:

Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted. The past is there to look back at our mistakes, The future is there to make sure you don’t make the same ones. The future is stardust because you can dream it. The present is clay because you can mold it. But the past is stone because you can never change it. Remember you never want to go back in time and change your past because one little change can change your entire future. Whats done is done, and cannot be undone, so why bother wishing you could have done this, or didn’t do that. Just learn from what happened and move on, for in the end, its all we can do.

Most murder victims are killed by someone they know. So stay safe by living a life of heartbreaking solitude, devoid of human contact.

Fun things to do: 

If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Tape magnets to the bottom of your empty coffee cup and attach it to the top of your vehicle. Wait and see how many people will try to flag you down.

The truth:

Trump certainly didn't need the status to build his ego and he doesn't need the money. A billionaire can certainly get by without taking the measly $400,000 a year salary of our President.  He saw  our nation in dire straits so took on the challenge. Let's hope he stays safe. Never forget what happened to Kennedy.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Russia on the move. North Korea getting Nuclear.....China building islands.....Libya left in tatters.....ISIS killing at will.......This is the Obama legacy.

I can't wait for Donald Trump to say to Obama "you're fired"

Just when you think it can't get any worse.. Miley, Amy and Katy now refuse to leave. America just can't get a break! They too are liars. Just leave.

1 tree makes 1 million matchsticks, but one match-stick can burn 1 million trees.

When people go underwater during movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. I died at Finding Nemo.

I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.

And soon it will be Thanksgiving. The only time that its acceptable to eat stuff out of a birds ass.

And all this time I thought Ariana Grande was a new coffee at Starbucks. You learn something new every day, right?

I was just brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant when out of nowhere I hear "you're gonna have to pay for that"............this Redding Walmart sucks!

I'm thinking about writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It's gonna be called "b*tches and hoes". What do you think?

I hate those people who ride your bumper and then start flashing their lights at you. Like, Hey- look at me, I’m driving an ambulance.........

I'm too old for snapchat and too young for Life Alert.

If Hillary was elected I was moving to Benghazi. I'm pretty sure she would have ignored me there. So glad I don't have to move.

Birthday Wishes: 

Happy Birthday to my BFN! You are an amazing woman and I am so fortunate to have you as my friend. You are a forever friend and forever has no end.

           

What if: 

Me at a funeral :
ME: What's the WiFi password?
PRIEST: Respect the dead
ME: Is that all small letters?




Until later.....................Happy Thanksgiving!

Be HAPPY!

Welcome to the Presidential Election of your discontent.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by all the sh!t going on in the world? There are a lot of things happening in the world, usually stuff I never address because it’s such divisive content and basically it brings out the worst in people.  Sometimes, seriously, I don’t know how I’m going to get through each day. Then I remember: I have all kinds of different vodka's in my cabinet waiting for me. I can do this for them.

My take on this Presidential election?

"Trump vs. Tramp”! The voting process in this country has gotten so outrageously out of control (how many states require IDs, even?) one can hardly assume the outcome will be the result - provable result - of the population's actual voting. Trump was absolutely correct when he decried the unbelievable level of corruption in the present government and democrat party. I get hella  concerned when I think of the millions of barely literate, barely-functional Americans (citizens and non-citizens and dead folks) who will be voting in Nov. It seems a lot of people would rather vote for Trump or not at all based on principle alone. We can’t all be Susan Sarandon, driving off cliffs and all. (Well, both Thelma (Geena Davis) and her friend Louise (Susan Sarandon). Geez, what choices do we have this election year? Move to Canada? Sad, sad, SAD!

Our networks as they really are: 

CNN: Clinton Network News
ABC : All Barack Channel
NBC: Network Barack Channel
MSNBC: More Syndicated News about Barack and Clinton.

Sheriff David Clarke:

And as always - CNN doing its thing. Stirring up racism. Did anyone see Don Lemon on CNN invite Sheriff Clarke to talk about the Black Lives Matter movement and their reaction to the attacks and deaths of police officers across the country? Take a look. Most awesome interview I've ever seen!

https://youtu.be/AxM4qBKfwqs

This guy, Sheriff Clarke is a class act. He is the real deal… no hype. He doesn't judge color,he judges right and wrong. I love to watch him rip on people. Clarke would be my choice for President in 2020. He would be an old school politician. How easy was it for Lemon to just put a stop to the truth? It wasn't easy. I reckon he got shamed enough to cut the interview short. Lemon had to cut him off and immediately went to commercial break. You’ve got to see it to believe it! It was hard for me to watch Lemon's reactions to the truth. He just did not "GET IT".  Lemon had to stop the interview because he knew that Clarke was taking him to the cleaners and had no idea how to deal with it. Took him to the cleaners?   Actually  Sheriff Clarke was putting him in the tree shredder! Can you imagine just how  different it would have been if Sheriff Clark had been elected our first Black President instead of that half black imitation that sits in the White House now?  This guy is one of the few elected to office that tells it like it is. Sheriff Arpaio is another Sheriff that also tells it like it is. No wonder that Obama and Lynch despise them both because they both have the courage to speak the truth and enforce the laws. True patriots in my mind. 

The Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation on charges of “public corruption”? 

IRS Commissioner John Koskinen referred congressional charges of corrupt Clinton Foundation “pay-to-play” activities to his tax agency’s exempt operations office for investigation. I'm laughing my ass off right now. Seriously, the same John Koskinen being impeached by Congress? What they really are doing is investigating how to clear the foundation of any illegalities much like Comey did with the email.

The same John Koskinen that lied under oath? The IRS will of course "pretend to investigate" but what they really will be doing is investigating just how to clear the Clinton  Foundation of any illegalities just like FBI Comey did with the FBI investigation of Hillarys classified emails on a home-grown private server.  FBI  Comey has no credibility,and it goes without mention that the IRS of course has no credibility! What a joke. I call Bullshit. 

And The Result Will Be (At Best):
They Broke This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
But We Are Not Recommending Any Enforcement Action.

Or the IRS will come back with this final report:

"While the Clinton foundation was extremely careless... no responsible prosecutor... blah, blah, blah" or after a fake investigation, the IRS will step forward that "No Reasonable Auditor Would find Fault With Clinton". Oh hell, I'll just say it - I'm sure a secret meeting on a plane somewhere will clear all this up when it comes to the Clinton Crime Family investigation. 

So let me say something about this Koskinen fella. Prior to being appointed by Obama Koskinen did not have any tax law experience, not to mention he worked in the 1990s in Bill Clinton's government as a budget director. Well, well, well - the appearance of conflicts of interest, for sure! I would gander to say he has been and is currently owned by the Clinton's. 

John Koskinen is of Finnish descent and feels that his Finnish 'sisu' has helped him succeed and has said: "I would like to think that I inherited Finnish sisu, of which I heard so much in my youth. In my career I have concentrated on leading big struggling organizations both in the private and public sectors and in such environment success demands strong nerves and persistence. For that I thank my Finnish forefathers" 

Ok, Koskinen, PROVE your Finnishness to me. Finns are honest, modest, and reliable people who place great value on their words. “Take a bull by its horns and a man by his word” is an old Finnish saying. Finns are also famous for their honesty – since 1998 Finland is the least corrupt country in the world. One of the reasons for that is well-structured law and order. So there you have it Mr. Koskinen, If you are indeed a Finn than you are stubborn, in a good way, very self reliant and always willing to help someone else. So help the American people by finding out the truth about the Clinton Foundation.  

So, in a nutshell Mr. Koskinen just investigate all these foreign companies and Clinton Foundation donors that allowed the Clinton's to leave the White house "dead broke" (their words) and now have a net worth of over $150 million, with over $2 billion in donations to their foundation. And I don't want to hear “What difference, at this point does it make?”  Because to us, American's, it makes a LOT of difference. Ball's in your court Mr. Koskinen. 

Future headlines about Hillary?

Bill tried to cheer up Hillary this morning by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until he served 25 years in prison.

After surprise 'Exorcism Intervention', Hillary Clinton vanishes into thin air.

Headline: Hillary was recently asked to do a cameo in "LiAR, LiAR Part II" starring Jim Carey.

Hillary wins #1 "Ethics Violator Award" third year in a row.

My thoughts about Hillary:

Hillary already divides her PARTY - if you think she won't divide the country - take your head out of your arse.

Hillary is smart enough and prepared to be President, ONLY if she already bought a dozen cloths to keep the White House server wiped.

At the Democratic Convention the democrats built a wall around the outside of the convention, to keep the riff raff and angry Bernie protesters out to protect themselves. They build a wall around the podium to protect themselves. They just don't want to build a wall that would protect everyone else in the country. The wall was fire proof, umm,  to keep Bernie's burners out?

Now, on to something that matters to ME:

Oregon wolf OR-7 has sired his third litter of pups since establishing the "Rogue Pack" in 2014 in the Rogue-Siskiyou National Forest. You go buddy! What does that make your pack now? 10?
Even more great news is that his brother OR-3, who was believed to be dead was spotted by a trail camera - identified him with his distinctive ear tags.  OR-3 met up with "enticing" OR-28, the only radio-collared female wolf to have dispersed from northeastern Oregon to the other end of the state and they produced a litter. This is the first known litter of pups for 8-year-old OR-3. How great is that? Two wolf brothers from northeastern Oregon find love and settle in Southern Oregon and actually live in close proximity to one another.

Well, that's it - I think I'm done with my whining, moaning and bitching. For now.

This United States 2016 Presidential Election is middle finger approved.

Forget November 8th, (election day ) I can't wait to see what happens November 9th. I'll be glad when this election is over so I can stop making blog posts that put me on Hillary's hit-list.

The NEW White House:

If Hillary wins the election it won't be the first time in history that a criminal moves into public housing vacated by a black family. On the other hand, if Trump wins the election it'll be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family.

It looks like the joke will be on Hillary if she wins. She'll have to sit at the same desk Monica Lewinsky knelt under. Bill always chose someone over Hillary, so should you. Which brings me to wonder about Kaine. Hillary's VP plays harmonica. That's all we need. More blowing in the Oval Office. 

Don't believe the media, Hillary's poll numbers are falling faster than Bill Clinton's pants in an Arkansas trailer park. How in the world did Bill & Hillary Clinton avoid the celebrity nickname "HillBilly"? 

We dropped the ball America.  We seriously dropped that ball!

With Hillary as President: 

Bidding starts Nov 9th. On sale now - America - 50% off!

A reminder:

Remember to set your clocks back an hour on November 6th and then on Tuesday, not to set the country back 50 years. 

Not afraid to admit I am voting for Trump: 

I would vote for Donald Trump, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, a pet rock, an alien or a fence post before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton.

My reasons for voting the Donald:

Hillary Clinton can never hide her contempt for the American people. She is an equal opportunity hater. She hates EVERYBODY. Nobody has value as far as Hillary Clinton is concerned unless they can vote for her or give her money. She has sponged off us American taxpayers for 40 years. She is Arrogant, Autistic, Cold, Crafty, Crass, Crooked, Cunning, Deceitful, Deceptive, Defensive, Defiant, Depraved, Deplorable, Evil, A Failure, Fraud, Grifter, Inauthentic, Liar, Malicious, Maniacal, Manipulative, Pandering, Paranoid, Pinocchio of Politics, Psychotic, Race Baiter, Ruthless, Scam Artist, Secretive, Self-Indulgent, Sleazy, Slimy, Smug, Sociopath, Unredeemable, Vicious, Vile, Vindictive. Just my opinion, mind you. Can you tell just how much I despise this creature? She is the most hypocritical person who ever lived, the biggest liar and the most corrupt person ever to run for president.  People have died in her wake of deceit. If Trump wins, I'm going to open a florist shop near the Mexican border. And yes, I will call the shop "Wallflowers."

I've got a theory. 

The tons of confetti dropped at the Democrat National Convention was actually Hillary's shredded emails!

My Advice to Huma: 

You'd better get witness protection or you're going to be found dead, with a suicide note in one hand, a revolver in the other, shot in the back, five times, with another bullet in the head, from a five shot revolver. No one wants to be the fall guy, or in this case the fall girl. If you go down, you need to roll on Hillary. You're tight, right? Don't you want your partner in crime sitting with you in jail? If I were you Huma, I'd be hiring bodyguards right about now...lots of bodyguards!!!

Hey Hillary supporters:

We know you don't like guns, so if  Hillary wins and the Terrorists come over, we're going to use you guys as bait.

Say it ain't so Obama:

President Obama just said that if men don't vote for Hillary it's because they are ignorant sexists. Funny he didn't say that 8 years ago. In fact 8 years ago he said, "Hillary will say anything but she will change nothing". Wow, Obama calling American men ignorant sexists. I find it interesting that the same people that are telling me that Donald Trump would be a bad President are the same people who told me that Barack Obama would be a Good President!!!

The Mainstream Media:

It really is truly astonishing that a little Aussie guy hiding in an Ecuadorean Embassy is doing a heck of a lot more for TRUTH in this Election than the Entire American media! Trump "allegedly" groped a woman 10 years ago and the mainstream media blows a gasket. Hillary had 10 people killed and the mainstream media and the voters of America ignore it.

In regards to the September 11th "medical Incident".....Stating that this worthless woman wobbled into the van is like saying the Titanic encountered rough water. "Wobbling into her van?" No way in hell. She was  literally dragged into her van by secret service agents. She was unable to stand or walk. Her feet were dragged over the curb and street, as they hustled her forward, and she lost a shoe in the process.  She was thrown into that van like a side of beef. The quicker they got her in - the better. After all if this video had not been shot by a civilian, we would have never seen this incident. The media would have covered it up. She was incapacitated. I've seen alcoholic drunks stand on their own better than her.  Look more closely at that video. That scene is similar to an earlier "still shot" of her being hoisted up a flight of stairs (by her handlers) because she could not stand, but her head is upright, as in the recent Sept 11 video. So this was not an isolated event by any means.   This was not fainting, as some of the mainstream media said, because prior to the her van arriving, she was leaning on a post with someone's help, her head erect, but unable to stand on her own volition.  If you faint, your head doesn't remain upright. It's impossible. She has a serious disorder,  neurological. My take is Parkinson's. Bets anyone? Hillary has all the vim and stamina of a sack of moldy Idaho potatoes. She was the equivalent of a dashboard Hula Girl on a paint mixer.

My Questions:

OK .... Listen up folks..... If Hillary Clinton can claim to not remember how to identify a classified document,  how can she claim to have never sent or received one? Anybody have any plausible answers?

Bill Clinton is the only Democrat who is happy right now because it wasn't his Wiener that got Hillary in trouble. Am I correct?

Wonder what would happen if Hillary Clinton was forced to wear a shock collar that went off every time she lied?

What kind of genius loses one billion dollars in one year? Answer: What kind of genius loses 6 billion dollars, 4 American Lives, A Laptop, 4 Cellphones, Three Tablets, & 33,000 emails all while serving as Secretary of State? Trump loses almost $1 Billion in the 90's and follows the relevant Tax Laws. The Nation is Outraged!!  Hillary can't account for $6 Billion in missing State Department funds during her Tenure as Secretary of State ..... WTH?

Why do people refuse to vote in elections because they say their one vote won't matter, but will gladly spend money - tons of money buying Powerball tickets despite virtually no chance of winning?

Thoughts on Christmas:

For fun I'm going to take a new Corvette for a test drive, put a big red bow on it and pull into random people's driveways honking.

I can read into the future:

Next week's headline shall be: 

Bill Clinton met James Comey on his private plane, discussed golf and his grandchildren for 30 minutes.

I thought I was Finn:

On average, an American woman will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese woman will have sex only one or two times a decade. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

My Thoughts:

First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.

Never quit: Recognize that moment when you accidently pour too much alcohol into your drink and you have to tough it out. For me it is because my Daddy didn't raise a quitter.

Grandkids are basically puppies for old people, right?

Every time you get dressed, if you die, is that your ghost outfit forever?

People will come and go in our lifetimes, but children last forever.

On a happier Note: 

A new gray wolf couple are in rural northeastern California. Lassen County to be exact.  The pair have been in Lassen County likely since late last year.

Wildlife  officials have received game camera photographs, found tracks and received eyewitness sightings suggested that the two wolves are traveling together, One male and one female. They don't know where the female originated from, but tests show the male wolf was born into the Rogue Pack of Southern Oregon in 2014 and most likely entered Lassen County in late 2015 or early 2016.  The male wolf is the son of OR-7, apparently following in his father's footsteps and coming to California. 

AWESOME!

After the election, my blog will be a little bit more uplifting. I hope anyway. Until then..........................

In my defense, I was left un-supervised...yes, another blog

My Dad's birthday would have been September 14th.

He profoundly affected my life.

Growing up I was part of the typical stereotypical American family, having the privilege of growing up in a small town.  I realize in looking back on it just how much we can take that for granted.  I would like to take a moment in my day to acknowledge one of the most important people in my life, my Dad.

I’m totally convinced that over the years I had caused a lot of grief to my Dad, and I know that during most of that time I did so unapologetically. I took for granted that my dad had his own life and worries, hopes and dreams, and wishes for the future of my brothers and myself. I  know how difficult it must have been to deal with the many challenges I obviously presented himwith . I mean seriously - the falsified and poorly forged report cards, my Finnish stubbornness - just to mention a few. As a young person I always wanted to ask for forgiveness later instead of permission beforehand. Obviously the exact opposite of what he wanted. How he had any patience left in him for anything, after raising 3 hell raising children defies my explanation. Especially me, his only daughter. 

I had been blessed in that I could always count on my Dad. Always! The example he set, and the things he taught me made me the woman I am. I can only hope that I was successful in passing some of those things on to my own children, to pass on my grandchildren.  He taught me that whatever you do, do it the best that you can.  Success in your life isn’t measured in the money you make, the friends you acquire  but the impression you leave on those around you.

So, even though my Dad has been gone for quite a number of years now I just want to say - to the best teacher, best friend, and best man ever in my life….. Thanks for being "my rock" Dad. Your birthdays are always sad for me until I draw on my many wonderful memories of us - father and daughter. 

Miss you Dad!

My challenge?  Anyone who can name just one thing our federal government does well, if at all. It certainly doesn’t win wars, protect our borders, and insure our rights…. and frankly that’s the ONLY three things it should do.

Just my thoughts!

Jon Snow Needs to Die Again So Lyanna Mormont Can Become President! If you don't know who Jon Snow is....well....you are not a Game of Thrones fan and you're definitely missing out. 

The 10-year-old ruler of Bear Island is intelligent, shrewd, and confident as hell. She’s quick to put adults four-times her age and size in their place, because she knows what’s right and how to make it happen. In short, she’s a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody. Lyanna Mormont for President 2016!

Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself (If you are at work - Shake up that random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it. It will make you feel good. Trust me).

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.

Why I love being Single:

It's not a status, I ain't on Facebook.  It is a good word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. This person chooses their own life path. I have chosen this path. I am happy. Today I am what I am because of my yesterday’s choices. And where I shall be tomorrow will be decided today.

Rain?

Imagine my embarrassment if I ever get caught in the rain without a piña colada. Preparing it now - I just happen to have a nice little flask here.

The Olympics:

WTH? Weren't some events missing?  Javelin Catch... Jello Shot-put... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...

I was disappointed. 

I admit it, really I do. I'm just being honest:

I always store state secrets on an unsecure server in my closet. Perfectly normal. Purely out of convenience. Not to worry my friends - I always have my team of attorneys clean my personal files off my hard drive. You're all safe. OUR secrets are safe. 

One of my friends told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter. Right?

There are a lot of things about life that are explainable to me if we were to accept that this is a simulated reality being played by some person in the future, and that everything we know about the universe and ourselves is just on some damn supercomputer. Think about it - humanity might all be fictional creatures stuck in an advanced video game.

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the grandkids out to look for eggs I won't be hiding. 

A couple months ago I fell onto my sauna heater. It was 200 degrees in there,  I sustained 2nd degree burns on my, yeah, you guessed it - A**.  Since it is second degree burns I will be scarred for life. No big problem as it's not a place on my body that can be seen, right? The scarring pattern is a definite sauna heater grate, much like a BBQ grate. I can see the future - a mortician trying to resist the temptation of playing tic tac toe on my A** prior to my cremation. Kind of funny if you think about it, but to be honest I feel as though I let my "Finnishness" down. I've used a sauna for well over 50 years and have never once had an injury or mishap. I KNOW how to sauna and sauna correctly. It's been instilled in me. It is part of me. Still, I lost some of my "Finnishness".  That is the sad part. Not the scars. I have plenty of scars and each one tells a story. I can laugh at this one now. I hope when I'm gone from this world my Finnish Wizards will also have a laugh about this. Come on - how Finn can you be if you don't have a permanent sauna scar on your A**? 

My A--'s reaction to the 2nd degree burns

Just a question or two:

If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?

My newest addition to my canine family:

Baby Girl, one of the 14 Shelties we rescued from a Susanville puppy farm. She had lived in a wire cage producing a litter every year for 8 years. Deplorable. I fostered two of the 14. One had to be put down because she bit me in the face (not my decision, Sheltie Rescue's decision) I had to literally have my lip sewn back on. Just another scar with another hospital emergency room story. I fostered Baby Girl for over 8 months before Sheltie Rescue asked me if I wanted to adopt her. As foster canine parents you have the first choice of adoption. From being a dog who would barely let me touch her to the dog that now shares a pillow with me at night, of course I had to adopt her. She's family, how could I not? It is so rewarding to see an animal taken out of such an horrendous situation, placed into loving and safe surroundings and just witness the miracle in front of your eyes! The miracle of her knowing she is loved and cared for - to see her play and be happy - after knowing what she had endured for 8 years - it is why we do it. Why we rescue. Why we open up our hearts and homes. I, for one, will always provide "forever homes" to these mistreated dogs. I don't understand how people can be cruel to animals and not have empathy for them. I would be a lost soul without my dogs. I truly would. 

Doubts about Hillary?  watch this!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XtIzH9HoC8

Don't be offended (by the verbage) but this is what is posted in my sauna. It's how I feel about America right now!

Based on the sounds coming from my neighbor's’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from IKEA. Gotta run. Gotta make sure everyone is OK!