My Confession: So many times the thoughts in my head get bored and go for a stroll and out through my mouth.This is rarely a good thing, but Yes, I am back. Two of my friends, Savana and Rich, asked me where my blog has been. I had a conflict of no interest....health problems, everyday problems, you name it. Back to my blog after months of what I call my "blog vacation". It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 months now. Warning: As usual I am not wearing a filter. Sometimes I wonder if my need to say random shit on this blog will ever be satisfied, but just remember people, you will never understand me, ever. But keep trying. It's cute. If kindness really kills, you’ll always be completely safe around me. Who else do you know that speaks sarcasm as a second language? I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I sleep.
The last time I drove to my "Big Sis's" (Noreen) house I saw a donkey crossing the road. A donkey in Shingletown?
The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass.
My thoughts:
I have come to the realization that gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. Actually I go to the Jim several times each day.
Our town has one dog grooming place, called the "Doggie Grooming Parlor" but I'm thinking about starting my own dog grooming business. I'm gonna call it “Doggie Style” ...who do you think is going to get the most business? Seriously, If anyone out there in our big wide world has a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with them!
Instead of telling my grandchildren that I walked to school both ways in the snow (which incidentally I DID), I think I will have to tell them that I once had to use a dial up modem to connect to the internet, and most times I would have to wait for a connection if I got a busy signal. And IF I was able to connect, I would have to listen to an awful screeching noise, and then once connected, hope to hell that no one in the house picked up the phone or else my connection would be lost. Grandkids today, they don’t know the hardships of yesteryear.
Speaking of kids, I bet my grown-up children miss their childhood, where the hardest decision they had to make was picking a crayon.
Nowadays, I'd rather change a tire than a diaper. With that said, you can bet your ass you will never see me change a diaper again, in my lifetime.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook in the future, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbooks. Hmmm that’s a bit too harsh so let me put “lol” at the end of it. For my high school friends, I'm just kidding. You should all know by now that I can’t be friends with sensitive ass people, I joke around way too much.
I think all rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blades so when they spin it looks a halo.
I seriously think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader...
The HBO series "Game of Thrones" is hella exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a damn chair.
Always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations and replace it with "Drinking for two"
Bruce Jenner could attach his new boobs to his damn forehead and I still wouldn’t care..enough about him! Enough about her!
Bruce Jenner could attach his new boobs to his damn forehead and I still wouldn’t care..enough about him! Enough about her!
I see the "Seven Deadly Sins" as more of a To-Do list.
My local bar:
I never realize how funny my life can be until someone asks me what I like to do for fun. A friend at the local bar:
What did you do this weekend?
Me: Dug holes in the woods.
And that, my friends, is how you get people to shut up.
Some people at my local bar need a high five… in the face … with a chair. (Bet you know who I am referencing Noreen!)
When I go to my local bar and then play that time backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
There's no excuse for my behavior, so I'm drinking until I have one.
Remember, you don't have to go to the bar, after all it's not really drinking alone if the dog is home.
There's no excuse for my behavior, so I'm drinking until I have one.
Todays drinking game? Every time you see a Chemtrail you have to take a shot. (I'll be outside)
My questions:
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
Do they call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken?
Anybody else wonder about this? That the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid?
We have so many Dollar Stores and Dollar General stores in the United States. If the UK has a dollar store is it called “Pound Town”?
Selling stuff on EBay:
This was my recent ad:
Camo Jacket for sale:
Still hating on Putin:
Recently two of my grandchildren visited and as usual we spent many a night in my sauna. I particularly adore this photo of my grandaughter Skylar.
The sauna is my place for relaxation. It is my place of physical and mental relaxation. and it’s my necessity. I don't talk much in the sauna, but I do think a lot. That is why I have my "Keep Calm and Hate Putin" sign. Yes, thinking about how much I hate Putin is relaxing to me.
Sauna Etiquette/Rules:
I was raised with certain sauna rules, which I have taught my children and grandchildren. The most important is that nothing upsets me more than when I am getting a good sweat on and someone else gets up to leave and does not close the door behind them. Nearly as bad is when someone is on their way in, and stops to chat with someone else while holding the door open. When the sauna door is open, it does not take long for the heat to spill out of the sauna.
Geoengineering:
All I want to say about this is : LOOK UP and WAKE UP! It saddens me to no end to realize how many people are in denial about what is happening to humanity, animals, and our Earth! The next time you see this:
Be alarmed. Very alarmed. Both of these photos were taken from my back yard. These photos do not show "condensation trails" they are nothing more than pure evidence of "chemtrails". You should learn the difference. I'm sick of hearing comments made by ignorant people that chemtrails are the same as contrails. If you pay attention I think you'll find it hard to say they're the same thing. Let me explain the difference. A contrail occurs when a plane travels at a high altitude (about 30,000 ft. or more) and compresses the air into a water vapor or ice crystals through jet engines or the wing tips pushing through the air. This trail disappears after a minute or so due to evaporation, because it's water. A chemtrail is very different from a contrail. At first a chemtrail might look a bit like a contrail. But, instead of disappearing like a contrail does, a chemtrail just keeps spreading out and forming a hazy cloud bank. These trails travel in the sky, the whole sky, and stay for up to five or even eight hours. They turn what was originally our beautiful clear blue skies into a grey haze. These skies are not what we grew up with people! I am involved in an ongoing battle against the IGNORANCE of Chemtrails, so if you think I'm some sort of conspiracy wacko, stop reading. If you want to learn the truth, then stay with me. Chemical tests reveal aluminum and barium have been sprayed from the planes. The time to deny what we can all see with our very own eyes has long passed. GEOENGINEERING/CHEMTRAILS exist. Our blue skies are no longer, agencies and people can continue to lie and debunk it, but the truth is the truth. In my county, Shasta County, rainwater, lake water and soils have been tested, and they all have the typical chemtrail footprint of aluminum, barium and strontium along with other toxic metals. We are breathing these chemicals, we are drinking these chemicals, it is on our skin.
For you non-believers of what is really happening, take 15 minutes of your time and watch this video! If anything else, watch it for your children and grandchildren. Your great- grandchildren may never be born. The lack of any investigative journalism in our mainstream media should be a huge red flag to every person on earth. Some people only listen to, and believe what they want to hear, the truth, to them, is irrelevant.
Ok, moving on........................
Forgotten Christmas presents:
I felt ambitious and cleaned out my garage yesterday. I ran across some Christmas decorations on top of my sauna and went through the boxes. I found a present from last year that I had forgotten to give one of my grandchildren. I was so disappointed! They would really have loved that kitten…
Ut-Oh:
Jeffrey? Jeffrey? That awkward moment when you put something in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is.
Overheard Conversation:
I was sitting with Rich at the bar enjoying a cocktail when he got a cell phone call from Scuba. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation.
Scuba: I’m calling from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Rich: WTF ?????
(My advice to Scuba: Don’t let regrets about the past or worries about the future rob you of your enjoyment of the present, we all make mistakes. Move on)
Ut-Oh:
Jeffrey? Jeffrey? That awkward moment when you put something in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is.
Overheard Conversation:
I was sitting with Rich at the bar enjoying a cocktail when he got a cell phone call from Scuba. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation.
Scuba: I’m calling from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Rich: WTF ?????
(My advice to Scuba: Don’t let regrets about the past or worries about the future rob you of your enjoyment of the present, we all make mistakes. Move on)
For the love of Wolves:
California has been blessed with seven new wolves who has claimed our State as their place of residency! I am excited! Five endangered gray wolf pups and their two adult parents in Siskiyou County. The California Fish and Game Commission voted to list gray wolves as endangered under the California Endangered Species Act in 2014. The gray wolf is also listed as endangered in California, under the Federal Endangered Species Act of 1973. Welcome to California "Shasta Pack" (named for nearby Mount Shasta). This is the first Wolf pack in the State of California in 91 years. I can only hope that the hunters and ranchers leave them be -
Laura's Horse:
My friend Laura has a beautiful paint horse, no doubt about it. But look at this Paint Horse!
Look carefully.
This paint horse spells out "Horse" !
Noreen and I went to the Wild Horse Sanctuary a while back and found an even better Paint Horse!
Remember, when you see Chemtrails, think of this:
That's it for now - off I go - but remember, If any of you ever need anything I’m just an unanswered phone call away.
The best part about this blog is that by the time you’ve finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it, right?
