I always try to write in a humorous manner. I love laughter. I love humor. Today's blog has a serious side to it. Is this Vickie speaking? Really? Does she have a serious side? I will let you figure that out yourselves.
Today would have been my late husband's birthday. Out of respect and love for him I always lower my American Flag to half-mast on his birthday, on the annual day of his death and on Veteran's Day. I still miss him everyday. I also miss my father everyday. Sometimes I feel like an amputee, like a crucial part of me has been cut off and is no longer a part of my body. Yet I can still sense their presence. I have the ability to see their visual images, clear as day, any time I want. I sense their presence all the time. Sure, you all think I'm crazy right now huh? Possibly. Sometimes I even talk to them. No biggy. I talk to animals. Neither one can talk back, but I do it nonetheless.
Take it from me - the death of a spouse is one of the most distressing events in life, if not the most distressing. It's a life-event that one spouse in every couple must eventually face, must endure. I've faced it. I have lived through it. Not easily, but I have survived. It will be 18 years this year. Always coming home to an empty house is not easy. My husband is not here to greet me, and the chair next to mine at the dinner table is always empty. My life seems to echo from the silence and I always shed a tear when I think of him, even after all of these years. Not nearly enough years together, yet so many memories we created together are all I have left. I treasure those memories... they make me laugh or cry, usually both. Losing a loved one really changes your entire life, especially when that person was also your best friend. We were definitely best friends. Something inside of me, specifically my Finnish Sisu, has always told me that I could survive! And I have. Grief is a lifelong journey, but life does go on.
So many friends have wanted me to hook up with someone, they say I need someone. WTH? These are obviously people who don't really know me. I don't have the energy to give any amount of attention to another relationship; hence I haven't and never will. What the hell do I want to have another man around for? I am a pretty sufficient woman and I am proud of that. I have never been lonely. I'm not that type of person who gets lonely. I am Finnish. We love our alone time. We can sometimes be happier to be with oneself than with people. Yeah, it's a strange quirk of the Finnish people. I credit that to my survival. But I will admit my dogs make me smile, they listen to me when I feel like talking and they certainly fill my life with love, humor and great friendships. My friend Laura laughs at me because I have conversations with my dogs. Why not? They understand me. They give me love and affection. They give me someone to care for and care about, all four of them. They greet me when I come home, and lie on my lap or at my feet while I watch TV. Like I said, life does go on. My heart belongs to my companion animals.
Seriously, these dogs are awesome. Ok, my heart also belongs to the wild animals in the forest. Well, maybe not so much that stupid bobcat that was in my back property not long ago. When it comes to protecting my pets, I will not hesitate to kill. Unfortunately it was late at night, dark, and I was barefoot in the snow with an automatic handgun that jammed. Not thrilled with that 9mm at all. At least I got a couple shots off with my .38 (trusty little revolver that it is) to scare it out of the tree and leave. It will be a long time before I forget that bobcat’s screams when Skye and Shep had it cornered. It’s a good thing they are big dogs and that bobcat had enough common sense to not attack as I think the dogs would have been the losers in that altercation. No match to those long sharp claws.
Ralph would have been 67 years old today. I can't even imagine that. But then again, I couldn't have ever imagined me being 60 and well......here I am....freaking' 60 years old! Maybe I better rephrase that to - I couldn't imagine myself surviving to the age of 60. I am somewhat of a dare-devil. I take chances. I don't know if that is because I am adventuresome or just brain dead and lack common sense. Who cares? I'm still here.
Now, Ralph was my second husband. I like to refer to my two marriages as equivalent to playing a hand of poker in Reno or Vegas. If you get a bad hand and then a good hand, do you really want to gamble on another hand? HELL NO. Lay those cards down and walk away. The first? Let me just say I have learned this...... The first rule of relationships - You don’t find out why someone was available until it’s too late. This is especially true of my first marriage. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you first like that person? That’s common sense leaving your body. WALK AWAY.
Nonetheless, even though it would have been his birthday I am not going to say "Happy Birthday Ralph". That's stupid. You cannot have birthdays when you are dead. Yes, I am blunt. I also blame that on being Finnish. We don't hesitate to speak our minds. Or speak the truth.
And now, on to the rest of my blog:
My thoughts for today:
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s. Yeah, for sure. And you guys think it's all about looking like a gentleman. Yeah, right. I know the truth because I have been known to hold a door open for a man. I know why I do it.Yeah, I'm 60. I'm not dead.
Everyone in the world talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. I think it would be much more appropriate if we left better kids for our planet.
I have learned that not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Remember, Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
Many people will disappoint you in life. Don’t let any of them be you.
If you like to
Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a black bear. Anybody know where I can get a cute little 'tag-a-long' and a picnic basket?
What is with these self checkout lines nowadays? Was the self checkout line invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons?
What I'm thinking:
The next time I’m on an elevator with five or more complete strangers, I’m going to turn around and in my serious voice say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here, at this particular location, but a mission is a mission. Is everybody ready - locked and loaded?”
Wow, is there an elevator in this county? Yep, at Kohl's. Maybe Sears. Obviously it's been awhile since I've been to either, I just can't remember.
But, hell's bells, I can't think of a better way to have fun.
I just finished watching the HBO TV series, Games of Thrones, and now I don’t know what to do with my life any more. I watched the complete Season 2 which was 10 episodes. In one week-end. I was consumed by it. I haven't been so hooked on a series since Lord of the Rings. Ok, Twilight comes in 3rd. Obviously I like to live in a fantasy supernatural world huh?
My pissy mode:
I WILL NEVER FORGET. 3000 souls were killed in a senseless violent act on September 11. I will remember all of those who lost their lives and I will always celebrate our heroes! I heard that Obama ordered the USPS to commission a Muslim stamp. A Muslim stamp? I was furious. All I could think of was the Muslim bombings of our military barracks in Saudi Arabia and Lebanon, the ship USS Cole, the World Trade Center- need I go on? Yes, I will. Our embassies in Africa were bombed by Muslims. And let us not forget the Pan Am Flight. I was ready to stage an uprising of my local Post Office if they even dared to offer me this stamp. Possibly even go 'postal' on them. I am calmed down now - it is not an official USPS stamp (although there have actually been Muslim stamps in the past!!). It was a stamp designed by zazzle.com. You can design anything there. It certainly would not surprise me if Obama had actually ordered such a stamp, after all he is a Muslim. I may be calmed down now, but I can still feel the rage inside just thinking about a Muslim stamp. I know I am not alone - my Finnish cousin in Florida and I have the same opinion.
Now that I unfortunately got on the subject of Obama, I just want to say (and yes Government's Big Brothers, come and get me...) the people of America who voted for him threw us under the bus. Again. Not once, but damn twice. And let me get this out.... Obama is NOT our first black president. He was born to a white mother and a black father. Never any mention of him being white huh? He is Mulatto. So let's get this straight America. He is our half-black and half-white President. Quit saying he is our first black President. Furthermore, he's not the only U.S. President who had some Negro blood in him. The way this country is headed I wouldn't be surprised to see a Mexican illegal elected to the Presidency. I used to be a Proud American. Not so much nowadays. I could very easily leave this country. It is NOT what my 4 grandparents immigrated to this country for. Not at all. I no longer feel safe in the Country that I was born to. Sad.
I guess I do have a pissy mode goin' on today. No apologies on how I feel about this man. None whatsoever. Freedom of Speech. I am always comfortable in my own skin. It is what it is.
Events of my past:
* A local Deputy Sheriff came up to me recently and said, “Where were you between four and six?” I said, “Kindergarten.” He didn't find that too awfully humorous. Myself, I'm still rolling on the ground laughing my Finnish ass off. Like I have said before - the local cops up here have no sense of humor at all. Here's an example. One day I was at our local bar. The Sheriff's sub-station is right there - actually sharing an interior wall, that's how close it is. I, being a woman of no substantial sound judgment wanted to turn the tables on whomever this Deputy was who was in the sub-station. My grandkids had just visited the prior week-end and I just happened to have sidewalk chalk in my coat pocket. I marked his tires. All four of them. Yeah, he came into the bar asking who the hell did it. Too my surprise, nobody gave me up. I was impressed. Locals hiding the retired x-cop’s mischief from the on duty cop. Had he investigated this little act of vandalism a little closer he would have found chalk residue on the perp - me. Chalk residue - kind of convincing - as convincing as GSR (gun shot residue). Yeah I love to mess with people.
A long time ago, when I first moved to this little mountain town I met a Deputy whose last name was Short. Seriously the name was fitting as this man could hardly see over his patrol unit's steering wheel. I kid you not. I tried to be friends with him but something went wrong. Thinking back on it, I now realize that it must have been when I asked him if he needed a 'booster chair' for his patrol car. No sense of humor at all. Hey, I'm short too, and I don't take offense to any short jokes. I'm seriously happy that he no longer patrols up here anymore; I swear he had it in for me. Just because I'm an x-Deputy, that doesn't mean I have to like all the other cops out there, and I don't. I've never seen a lazier bunch of ....well, let's stop right here before I get myself into trouble.
*duct tape on mouth now*
* OMG…!!! So, there I was in the public restroom at Costco and I had barely sat down when I heard a woman's voice in the next stall:
“Hi, how are you?”
Me: (obviously embarrassed) “Doin’ just fine!”
Stall: “So, what are you up to?”
Me: “What the hell! Are you serious?”
Stall: “Can I come over?”
Me: (with my Finnish attitude) “Are you F-ing kidding me?????”
Stall: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There's some freak in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions”
Do people take their cell phones everywhere they go nowadays? I hope I don't get a call from someone on my cell phone and hear a toilet flush in the background. Don't do that to me. Post it on Facebook instead. I am not on Facebook. Just spare me.
I guess it could have been worse, right? It could have been 'stall' asking me if I could spare a square. Incidentally I never spare a square. Don't ask. If you go in there UN-prepared, that’s on you. Which brings to mind....Why are there so many commercials for toilet paper? Who is NOT buying it?
* I spent all of yesterday painting some kick ass flames on a truck. I hope my neighbor, who owns it, was stoked when he came out of the house and saw it. He works for Cal-Fire. I put a lot of time and effort into it. Sometimes I just can not stop my creativeness. I get compelled to do things. It’s my OCD. Fact of life.
As always, I like to end my blog on a joke.
Obama.
