This United States 2016 Presidential Election is middle finger approved.

Forget November 8th, (election day ) I can't wait to see what happens November 9th. I'll be glad when this election is over so I can stop making blog posts that put me on Hillary's hit-list.

The NEW White House:

If Hillary wins the election it won't be the first time in history that a criminal moves into public housing vacated by a black family. On the other hand, if Trump wins the election it'll be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family.

It looks like the joke will be on Hillary if she wins. She'll have to sit at the same desk Monica Lewinsky knelt under. Bill always chose someone over Hillary, so should you. Which brings me to wonder about Kaine. Hillary's VP plays harmonica. That's all we need. More blowing in the Oval Office. 

Don't believe the media, Hillary's poll numbers are falling faster than Bill Clinton's pants in an Arkansas trailer park. How in the world did Bill & Hillary Clinton avoid the celebrity nickname "HillBilly"? 

We dropped the ball America.  We seriously dropped that ball!

With Hillary as President: 

Bidding starts Nov 9th. On sale now - America - 50% off!

A reminder:

Remember to set your clocks back an hour on November 6th and then on Tuesday, not to set the country back 50 years. 

Not afraid to admit I am voting for Trump: 

I would vote for Donald Trump, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, a pet rock, an alien or a fence post before I would ever vote for Hillary Clinton.

My reasons for voting the Donald:

Hillary Clinton can never hide her contempt for the American people. She is an equal opportunity hater. She hates EVERYBODY. Nobody has value as far as Hillary Clinton is concerned unless they can vote for her or give her money. She has sponged off us American taxpayers for 40 years. She is Arrogant, Autistic, Cold, Crafty, Crass, Crooked, Cunning, Deceitful, Deceptive, Defensive, Defiant, Depraved, Deplorable, Evil, A Failure, Fraud, Grifter, Inauthentic, Liar, Malicious, Maniacal, Manipulative, Pandering, Paranoid, Pinocchio of Politics, Psychotic, Race Baiter, Ruthless, Scam Artist, Secretive, Self-Indulgent, Sleazy, Slimy, Smug, Sociopath, Unredeemable, Vicious, Vile, Vindictive. Just my opinion, mind you. Can you tell just how much I despise this creature? She is the most hypocritical person who ever lived, the biggest liar and the most corrupt person ever to run for president.  People have died in her wake of deceit. If Trump wins, I'm going to open a florist shop near the Mexican border. And yes, I will call the shop "Wallflowers."

I've got a theory. 

The tons of confetti dropped at the Democrat National Convention was actually Hillary's shredded emails!

My Advice to Huma: 

You'd better get witness protection or you're going to be found dead, with a suicide note in one hand, a revolver in the other, shot in the back, five times, with another bullet in the head, from a five shot revolver. No one wants to be the fall guy, or in this case the fall girl. If you go down, you need to roll on Hillary. You're tight, right? Don't you want your partner in crime sitting with you in jail? If I were you Huma, I'd be hiring bodyguards right about now...lots of bodyguards!!!

Hey Hillary supporters:

We know you don't like guns, so if  Hillary wins and the Terrorists come over, we're going to use you guys as bait.

Say it ain't so Obama:

President Obama just said that if men don't vote for Hillary it's because they are ignorant sexists. Funny he didn't say that 8 years ago. In fact 8 years ago he said, "Hillary will say anything but she will change nothing". Wow, Obama calling American men ignorant sexists. I find it interesting that the same people that are telling me that Donald Trump would be a bad President are the same people who told me that Barack Obama would be a Good President!!!

The Mainstream Media:

It really is truly astonishing that a little Aussie guy hiding in an Ecuadorean Embassy is doing a heck of a lot more for TRUTH in this Election than the Entire American media! Trump "allegedly" groped a woman 10 years ago and the mainstream media blows a gasket. Hillary had 10 people killed and the mainstream media and the voters of America ignore it.

In regards to the September 11th "medical Incident".....Stating that this worthless woman wobbled into the van is like saying the Titanic encountered rough water. "Wobbling into her van?" No way in hell. She was  literally dragged into her van by secret service agents. She was unable to stand or walk. Her feet were dragged over the curb and street, as they hustled her forward, and she lost a shoe in the process.  She was thrown into that van like a side of beef. The quicker they got her in - the better. After all if this video had not been shot by a civilian, we would have never seen this incident. The media would have covered it up. She was incapacitated. I've seen alcoholic drunks stand on their own better than her.  Look more closely at that video. That scene is similar to an earlier "still shot" of her being hoisted up a flight of stairs (by her handlers) because she could not stand, but her head is upright, as in the recent Sept 11 video. So this was not an isolated event by any means.   This was not fainting, as some of the mainstream media said, because prior to the her van arriving, she was leaning on a post with someone's help, her head erect, but unable to stand on her own volition.  If you faint, your head doesn't remain upright. It's impossible. She has a serious disorder,  neurological. My take is Parkinson's. Bets anyone? Hillary has all the vim and stamina of a sack of moldy Idaho potatoes. She was the equivalent of a dashboard Hula Girl on a paint mixer.

My Questions:

OK .... Listen up folks..... If Hillary Clinton can claim to not remember how to identify a classified document,  how can she claim to have never sent or received one? Anybody have any plausible answers?

Bill Clinton is the only Democrat who is happy right now because it wasn't his Wiener that got Hillary in trouble. Am I correct?

Wonder what would happen if Hillary Clinton was forced to wear a shock collar that went off every time she lied?

What kind of genius loses one billion dollars in one year? Answer: What kind of genius loses 6 billion dollars, 4 American Lives, A Laptop, 4 Cellphones, Three Tablets, & 33,000 emails all while serving as Secretary of State? Trump loses almost $1 Billion in the 90's and follows the relevant Tax Laws. The Nation is Outraged!!  Hillary can't account for $6 Billion in missing State Department funds during her Tenure as Secretary of State ..... WTH?

Why do people refuse to vote in elections because they say their one vote won't matter, but will gladly spend money - tons of money buying Powerball tickets despite virtually no chance of winning?

Thoughts on Christmas:

For fun I'm going to take a new Corvette for a test drive, put a big red bow on it and pull into random people's driveways honking.

I can read into the future:

Next week's headline shall be: 

Bill Clinton met James Comey on his private plane, discussed golf and his grandchildren for 30 minutes.

I thought I was Finn:

On average, an American woman will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese woman will have sex only one or two times a decade. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

My Thoughts:

First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.

Never quit: Recognize that moment when you accidently pour too much alcohol into your drink and you have to tough it out. For me it is because my Daddy didn't raise a quitter.

Grandkids are basically puppies for old people, right?

Every time you get dressed, if you die, is that your ghost outfit forever?

People will come and go in our lifetimes, but children last forever.

On a happier Note: 

A new gray wolf couple are in rural northeastern California. Lassen County to be exact.  The pair have been in Lassen County likely since late last year.

Wildlife  officials have received game camera photographs, found tracks and received eyewitness sightings suggested that the two wolves are traveling together, One male and one female. They don't know where the female originated from, but tests show the male wolf was born into the Rogue Pack of Southern Oregon in 2014 and most likely entered Lassen County in late 2015 or early 2016.  The male wolf is the son of OR-7, apparently following in his father's footsteps and coming to California. 

AWESOME!

After the election, my blog will be a little bit more uplifting. I hope anyway. Until then..........................

In my defense, I was left un-supervised...yes, another blog

My Dad's birthday would have been September 14th.

He profoundly affected my life.

Growing up I was part of the typical stereotypical American family, having the privilege of growing up in a small town.  I realize in looking back on it just how much we can take that for granted.  I would like to take a moment in my day to acknowledge one of the most important people in my life, my Dad.

I’m totally convinced that over the years I had caused a lot of grief to my Dad, and I know that during most of that time I did so unapologetically. I took for granted that my dad had his own life and worries, hopes and dreams, and wishes for the future of my brothers and myself. I  know how difficult it must have been to deal with the many challenges I obviously presented himwith . I mean seriously - the falsified and poorly forged report cards, my Finnish stubbornness - just to mention a few. As a young person I always wanted to ask for forgiveness later instead of permission beforehand. Obviously the exact opposite of what he wanted. How he had any patience left in him for anything, after raising 3 hell raising children defies my explanation. Especially me, his only daughter. 

I had been blessed in that I could always count on my Dad. Always! The example he set, and the things he taught me made me the woman I am. I can only hope that I was successful in passing some of those things on to my own children, to pass on my grandchildren.  He taught me that whatever you do, do it the best that you can.  Success in your life isn’t measured in the money you make, the friends you acquire  but the impression you leave on those around you.

So, even though my Dad has been gone for quite a number of years now I just want to say - to the best teacher, best friend, and best man ever in my life….. Thanks for being "my rock" Dad. Your birthdays are always sad for me until I draw on my many wonderful memories of us - father and daughter. 

Miss you Dad!

My challenge?  Anyone who can name just one thing our federal government does well, if at all. It certainly doesn’t win wars, protect our borders, and insure our rights…. and frankly that’s the ONLY three things it should do.

Just my thoughts!

Jon Snow Needs to Die Again So Lyanna Mormont Can Become President! If you don't know who Jon Snow is....well....you are not a Game of Thrones fan and you're definitely missing out. 

The 10-year-old ruler of Bear Island is intelligent, shrewd, and confident as hell. She’s quick to put adults four-times her age and size in their place, because she knows what’s right and how to make it happen. In short, she’s a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody. Lyanna Mormont for President 2016!

Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself (If you are at work - Shake up that random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it. It will make you feel good. Trust me).

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.

Why I love being Single:

It's not a status, I ain't on Facebook.  It is a good word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. This person chooses their own life path. I have chosen this path. I am happy. Today I am what I am because of my yesterday’s choices. And where I shall be tomorrow will be decided today.

Rain?

Imagine my embarrassment if I ever get caught in the rain without a piña colada. Preparing it now - I just happen to have a nice little flask here.

The Olympics:

WTH? Weren't some events missing?  Javelin Catch... Jello Shot-put... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...

I was disappointed. 

I admit it, really I do. I'm just being honest:

I always store state secrets on an unsecure server in my closet. Perfectly normal. Purely out of convenience. Not to worry my friends - I always have my team of attorneys clean my personal files off my hard drive. You're all safe. OUR secrets are safe. 

One of my friends told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter. Right?

There are a lot of things about life that are explainable to me if we were to accept that this is a simulated reality being played by some person in the future, and that everything we know about the universe and ourselves is just on some damn supercomputer. Think about it - humanity might all be fictional creatures stuck in an advanced video game.

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the grandkids out to look for eggs I won't be hiding. 

A couple months ago I fell onto my sauna heater. It was 200 degrees in there,  I sustained 2nd degree burns on my, yeah, you guessed it - A**.  Since it is second degree burns I will be scarred for life. No big problem as it's not a place on my body that can be seen, right? The scarring pattern is a definite sauna heater grate, much like a BBQ grate. I can see the future - a mortician trying to resist the temptation of playing tic tac toe on my A** prior to my cremation. Kind of funny if you think about it, but to be honest I feel as though I let my "Finnishness" down. I've used a sauna for well over 50 years and have never once had an injury or mishap. I KNOW how to sauna and sauna correctly. It's been instilled in me. It is part of me. Still, I lost some of my "Finnishness".  That is the sad part. Not the scars. I have plenty of scars and each one tells a story. I can laugh at this one now. I hope when I'm gone from this world my Finnish Wizards will also have a laugh about this. Come on - how Finn can you be if you don't have a permanent sauna scar on your A**? 

My A--'s reaction to the 2nd degree burns

Just a question or two:

If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?

My newest addition to my canine family:

Baby Girl, one of the 14 Shelties we rescued from a Susanville puppy farm. She had lived in a wire cage producing a litter every year for 8 years. Deplorable. I fostered two of the 14. One had to be put down because she bit me in the face (not my decision, Sheltie Rescue's decision) I had to literally have my lip sewn back on. Just another scar with another hospital emergency room story. I fostered Baby Girl for over 8 months before Sheltie Rescue asked me if I wanted to adopt her. As foster canine parents you have the first choice of adoption. From being a dog who would barely let me touch her to the dog that now shares a pillow with me at night, of course I had to adopt her. She's family, how could I not? It is so rewarding to see an animal taken out of such an horrendous situation, placed into loving and safe surroundings and just witness the miracle in front of your eyes! The miracle of her knowing she is loved and cared for - to see her play and be happy - after knowing what she had endured for 8 years - it is why we do it. Why we rescue. Why we open up our hearts and homes. I, for one, will always provide "forever homes" to these mistreated dogs. I don't understand how people can be cruel to animals and not have empathy for them. I would be a lost soul without my dogs. I truly would. 

Doubts about Hillary?  watch this!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XtIzH9HoC8

Don't be offended (by the verbage) but this is what is posted in my sauna. It's how I feel about America right now!

Based on the sounds coming from my neighbor's’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from IKEA. Gotta run. Gotta make sure everyone is OK!

Welcome to the Presidential Election of your discontent.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by all the sh!t going on in the world? ISIS, Black Lives Matter. Hillary's Lies. Ambush of the Police. The USA Presidential Election. It's too much, damnit.   There are a lot of things happening in the world, usually stuff I never address because it’s such divisive content and basically it brings out the worst in people.  Sometimes, seriously, I don’t know how I’m going to get through each day. Then I remember: I have all kinds of different vodka's in my cabinet waiting for me. I can do this for them.

Sheriff David Clarke: (above video)

And as always - CNN doing its thing. Stirring up racism. Did anyone see Don Lemon on CNN invite Sheriff Clarke to talk about the Black Lives Matter movement and their reaction to the attacks and deaths of police officers across the country? Take a look. Most awesome interview I've ever seen!

This guy, Sheriff Clarke is a class act. He is the real deal… no hype. He doesn't judge color,he judges right and wrong. I love to watch him rip on people. Clarke would be my choice for President in 2020. He would be an old school politician. How easy was it for Lemon to just put a stop to the truth? It wasn't easy. I reckon he got shamed enough to cut the interview short. Lemon had to cut him off and immediately went to commercial break. You’ve got to see it to believe it! It was hard for me to watch Lemon's reactions to the truth. He just did not "GET IT".  Lemon had to stop the interview because he knew that Clarke was taking him to the cleaners and had no idea how to deal with it. Took him to the cleaners?   Actually  Sheriff Clarke was putting him in the tree shredder! Can you imagine just how  different it would have been if Sheriff Clark had been elected our first Black President instead of that half black imitation that sits in the White House now?  This guy is one of the few elected to office that tells it like it is. Sheriff Arpaio is another Sheriff that also tells it like it is. No wonder that Obama and Lynch despise them both because they both have the courage to speak the truth and enforce the laws. True patriots in my mind.

Think we chose the wrong Dept. Doug?

My sentiments exactly

My take on this Presidential election?

"Trump vs. Tramp”! The voting process in this country has gotten so outrageously out of control (how many states require IDs, even?) one can hardly assume the outcome will be the result - provable result - of the population's actual voting. Trump was absolutely correct when he decried the unbelievable level of corruption in the present government and democrat party. I get hella  concerned when I think of the millions of barely literate, barely-functional Americans (citizens and non-citizens and dead folks) who will be voting in Nov. It seems a lot of people would rather vote for Trump or not at all based on principle alone. We can’t all be Susan Sarandon, driving off cliffs and all. (Well, both Thelma (Geena Davis) and her friend Louise (Susan Sarandon). Geez, what choices do we have this election year? Move to Canada? Sad, sad, SAD! Maybe Wisconsin. Yeah, I'd feel hella safe in Sheriff Clarke's territory. 

Our networks as they really are: 

CNN: Clinton Network News
ABC : All Barack Channel
NBC: Network Barack Channel
MSNBC: More Syndicated News about Barack and Clinton.

The Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation on charges of “public corruption”? 

IRS Commissioner John Koskinen referred congressional charges of corrupt Clinton Foundation “pay-to-play” activities to his tax agency’s exempt operations office for investigation. I'm laughing my ass off right now. Seriously, the same John Koskinen being impeached by Congress? What they really are doing is investigating how to clear the foundation of any illegalities much like Comey did with the email.

The same John Koskinen that lied under oath? The IRS will of course "pretend to investigate" but what they really will be doing is investigating just how to clear the Clinton  Foundation of any illegalities just like FBI Comey did with the FBI investigation of Hillarys classified emails on a home-grown private server.  FBI  Comey has no credibility,and it goes without mention that the IRS of course has no credibility! What a joke. I call Bullshit. 

And The Result Will Be (At Best):
They Broke This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
And This Law
But We Are Not Recommending Any Enforcement Action.

Or the IRS will come back with this final report:

"While the Clinton foundation was extremely careless... no responsible prosecutor... blah, blah, blah" or after a fake investigation, the IRS will step forward that "No Reasonable Auditor Would find Fault With Clinton". Oh hell, I'll just say it - I'm sure a secret meeting on a plane somewhere will clear all this up when it comes to the Clinton Crime Family investigation. 

So let me say something about this Koskinen fella. Prior to being appointed by Obama Koskinen did not have any tax law experience, not to mention he worked in the 1990s in Bill Clinton's government as a budget director. Well, well, well - the appearance of conflicts of interest, for sure! I would gander to say he has been and is currently owned by the Clinton's. 

John Koskinen is of Finnish descent and feels that his Finnish 'sisu' has helped him succeed and has said: "I would like to think that I inherited Finnish sisu, of which I heard so much in my youth. In my career I have concentrated on leading big struggling organizations both in the private and public sectors and in such environment success demands strong nerves and persistence. For that I thank my Finnish forefathers" 

Ok, Koskinen, PROVE your Finnishness to me. Finns are honest, modest, and reliable people who place great value on their words. “Take a bull by its horns and a man by his word” is an old Finnish saying. Finns are also famous for their honesty – since 1998 Finland is the least corrupt country in the world. One of the reasons for that is well-structured law and order. So there you have it Mr. Koskinen, If you are indeed a Finn than you are stubborn, in a good way, very self reliant and always willing to help someone else. So help the American people by finding out the truth about the Clinton Foundation.  

So, in a nutshell Mr. Koskinen just investigate all these foreign companies and Clinton Foundation donors that allowed the Clinton's to leave the White house "dead broke" (their words) and now have a net worth of over $150 million, with over $2 billion in donations to their foundation. And I don't want to hear “What difference, at this point does it make?”  Because to us, American's, it makes a LOT of difference. Ball's in your court Mr. Koskinen. 

Future headlines about Hillary?

Bill tried to cheer up Hillary this morning by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until he served 25 years in prison.

After surprise 'Exorcism Intervention', Hillary Clinton vanishes into thin air.

Headline: Hillary was recently asked to do a cameo in "LiAR, LiAR Part II" starring Jim Carey.

Hillary wins #1 "Ethics Violator Award" third year in a row.

My thoughts about Hillary:

Hillary already divides her PARTY - if you think she won't divide the country - take your head out of your arse.

Hillary is smart enough and prepared to be President, ONLY if she already bought a dozen cloths to keep the White House server wiped.

At the Democratic Convention the democrats built a wall around the outside of the convention, to keep the riff raff and angry Bernie protesters out to protect themselves. They build a wall around the podium to protect themselves. They just don't want to build a wall that would protect everyone else in the country. The wall was fire proof, umm,  to keep Bernie's burners out?

Now, on to something that matters to ME:

Oregon wolf OR-7 has sired his third litter of pups since establishing the "Rogue Pack" in 2014 in the Rogue-Siskiyou National Forest. You go buddy! What does that make your pack now? 10?

Even more great news is that his brother OR-3, who was believed to be dead was spotted by a trail camera - identified him with his distinctive ear tags.  OR-3 met up with "enticing" OR-28, the only radio-collared female wolf to have dispersed from northeastern Oregon to the other end of the state and they produced a litter. This is the first known litter of pups for 8-year-old OR-3. How great is that? Two wolf brothers from northeastern Oregon find love and settle in Southern Oregon and actually live in close proximity to one another.

2 of OR-7's newest litter

Well, that's it - I think I'm done with my whining, moaning and bitching. For now.

2015 is almost over - YAY!

Today’s Mood ? Bitchy With A Chance Of Sarcasm. Typical day for me. When I write this blog I always feel that there is a great need for a sarcasm font. After all sarcasm is my body’s natural defense against stupid. It’s been an exhausting month of pretending I’m a pleasant person and I think I'm emotionally constipated. I just can't seem to give a sh*t, but just to clarify for those who do not understand me... I don't have an attitude, I have a defined sarcastic character. Sarcasm is my first language and swearing is probably my second.

And now it's time to do my blog. You have time to .......run.

The Truth. Yes, 13 truths:

1. Today I Placed my Smith and Wesson .357 revolver on the table right next to my front door. I left six cartridges beside it, then left it alone and went about my business. While I was busy doing stuff, the mailman delivered my mail,  a lady walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars drove down my street. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was quietly sitting there, right where I had left it. It had not moved itself outside. It had not killed anyone, certainly, even with the numerous opportunities it had presented to do that. In fact, it had not even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the hype by the Left and the media about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong or I'm in possession of the laziest damn gun in the world.

The United States is 3rd in murders throughout the world. But if you take out just four  'left-wing' cities: Chicago, Detroit, Washington DC and New Orleans -- the United States is 4th from the bottom, in the ENTIRE World, for murders. These four cities are controlled by Democrats. They also have the toughest Gun Control laws in the USA. It would be absurd to draw any conclusions from this data, right? Well, I'm off to check on my spoons now.  I hear they 're making people fat.

2. I disappear from sight on full moons just to make people wonder.

3. Some people are like pennies. Two-faced and worthless.

4. Hard times will always reveal TRUE FRIENDS...Friendship is not about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who has walked into your life, said I’m here for you and proved it. Thank you Noreen and Dave for being there for me when the dog bit me in the face. Don't know what I would have done without you two!

5. I have gotten out of bed 365 days a year for 63 years. That is 22,995 sit-ups. And not ONE decent abdominal muscle to show for it.

6.  “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer your doctor is looking for when he asks you if you are sexually active.

7. Don’t ever ask me for childcare advice unless you want pure nuggets of wisdom like “always punch holes in the box so they can breathe.”

8. True story: The reason why daughters love their dad the most is that there is at least one man in the world who would never hurt her.

9. I think families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.

10. The one thing  that I miss about being on Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don’t even have to hide a body.

11. My thoughts on friendships:  My trick is to not let anyone know how really weird I am until it’s too late for them to back out.

12.  I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a  Finlandia distillery first, and then I'm proud to say I'm drinking  glacial spring water. Can't wait to try the 2015 new Finlandia flavor which is called  Nordic Berries, made out of Lingonberries, cloudberries, and bilberries! Do you hear me Santa? That is on my list! By the way Santa, I don't want a whole lot for Christmas. I  would be happy with either a fairy godmother, a genie or a magic wand.  I have very valuable information. Names, places.. I'm willing to cut a deal.

13. My Big Sis, Noreen, got kicked out of the  casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.


My complaint:

The mechanic at Lithia Chevrolet  said  he couldn’t repair my brakes, so he made my horn louder. Then to add insult to injury, he asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I'm pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I'm driving".  Geez dude, I may be blond but I ain't stupid.

My two Confessions: 

1. I'm still a bit shaken up. I was involved in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side I did make $131 and I think this watch looks really good on me.

2. I’m not crazy. Just imaginative.

No, I'm not kidding: 

1. Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party. They have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a black bear in Shingletown turned Democrat. He's nicknamed Bearack Obearma. It's believed that he has become a campground organizer at Lake Nora and Lake Grace.

BEARACK OBEARMA

Obviously, his sons,  young Republicans, are very embarrassed about this!

3. Ultimately, I hope that wherever my missing socks go, they’re happy.

4, Don't be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.

5. Someone invited me to their cat's birthday party next Saturday. Seriously? I am NOT going to that cat's birthday party! Besides, my dog is getting married that weekend!

6. I am not a religious person but if I was ever to be baptized, I think it would be funny If I put Alka-Seltzer in my mouth and pretended to be  possessed by the devil. Yes, I know, I am going to Hell.

7. A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. Really? A swimming pool in Shingletown? Hell yes, I gave him a donation.  I gave him a glass of water.


My questions: 

I don't get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn't it already cracked to begin with?

Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.

Something I will never understand: Why is it acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out?

The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot, right?

Memories of a time long ago:

When I was 7 years old I ran away from home with the family dog Shep. I found reward posters ONLY looking for the dog.  Very sad indeed.

If I ever go missing again, I would like my photo put on Finlandia vodka bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends and family will know to look for me.

Just thoughts:

1. If I had an identical twin, we would move to opposite ends of the country and tell none of our new friends that we had a twin. Then when one of us dies, the other would attend the funeral and whisper “it’s your fault” to random people, then leave. Damn, I wish I had a twin. That would be hilarious!

2. I would like to thank all the humans who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.

3. Last 4 letters of American - I CAN, last 4 letters of Republican - I CAN, last 4 letters of Democrats - Rats

4. If you’re an astronaut, and you don’t end a relationship with “Look, I just need space..” then you're just wasting every one's time.

Seriously? : 

Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dogs aren't doing their part of the chores around here.

I’m looking up at the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data.

No, I will never shut up about the chemtrails:

Have you all stopped, and actually looked up at the sky lately? Skies should be blue and clouds should be white. Anyone taken notice of the strips of obvious man made patterns that criss cross, streak, or have been dispersed in bursts, leaving that hazy cloud cover so much so that only a conformist, a simpleton, or a liar would dare say "that's normal"? How about at the ground that most of us walk on obliviously each and every morning, afternoon, and night? Noticed anything unusual  lately? Like, the silence in our forest? Creatures in their daily comings and goings in their city of trees. Seem to suddenly disappear. Noticed one side of the trees are without bark? Burned away by the suns radiation? The buzz of the bees is not so much anymore either and the shrubs, bushy and green yesterday, grey dry sticks of death today. My goal is to awaken and unify all different types of people - about this geoengineering.  With the hope that people start speaking out, creating enough noise and applying pressure to the right places, or at least resistance to some of the injustice being forced down our throats everyday, and never mentioned on the evening news.

All you have to do is look up to know that something just ain't right. As I have said before- those are not regular contrails coming out of those planes! Contrails do not fan out across the sky and cause it to be cloudy. People do not get sick from contrails. The planes spraying this poison on us are not on the list of flights that fly in the United States on a daily basis. Google chemtrails, and educate yourself. We all should be worried about this! Yeah, yeah, I'm a dog with a bone about this geoengineering shit, right? You should all know, I speak my mind, because it hurts too damn much to bite my tongue. 

At my local bar:

I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, never mind, I found my drink.

You say mystery bruises, I say drinking badge of honor.

My relationship with vodka has been on the rocks lately.

Is it half empty? Is it half full? Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable? So, my advice to you is to not look at your drink as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next one.

Things I trust more than Hillary Clinton:

Mexican tap water
A rattlesnake with a "pet me" sign
OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection
Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
Michael Jackson's Doctor
An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
A Palestinian on a motorcycle
Brian Williams news reports
Playing Russian Roulette with a semi-auto pistol
A condom made in China
And finally -
Bill Clinton at a Girl Scout convention

Merry Christmas everyone!

I am looking forward to putting my Christmas tree up and I don't need an angel on the top because my dad is already there looking down on me!

Can't wait for my daughter and grandchildren to come for Christmas - we are heading to ESKIMO HILL !

Just more "Ramblings" from Vickie

My Confession:  So many times the thoughts in my head get bored and go for a stroll and out through my mouth.This is rarely a good thing, but Yes, I am back. Two of my friends, Savana and Rich, asked me where my blog has been.  I had a conflict of no interest....health problems, everyday problems, you name it.  Back to my blog after months of what I call my "blog vacation". It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 months now. Warning: As usual I am not wearing a filter. Sometimes I wonder if my need to say random shit on this blog will ever be satisfied, but just remember people, you will never understand me, ever. But keep trying. It's cute. If kindness really kills, you’ll always be completely safe around me. Who else do you know that speaks sarcasm as a second language? I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I sleep.

The last time I drove to my "Big Sis's" (Noreen) house I saw a donkey crossing the road. A donkey in Shingletown? 

The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass.

My thoughts: 

I have come to the realization that gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. Actually I go to the Jim several times each day. 

Our town has one dog grooming place, called the "Doggie Grooming Parlor" but I'm thinking about starting my own dog grooming business. I'm gonna call it  “Doggie Style” ...who do you think is going to get the most business? Seriously, If anyone out there in our big wide world has a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with them!

Instead of telling my grandchildren that I walked to school both ways in the snow (which incidentally I DID), I think I will have to tell them that I once had to use a dial up modem to connect to the internet, and most times I would have to wait for a connection if I got a busy signal. And IF  I was able to connect, I would have to listen to an awful screeching noise, and then once connected, hope to hell that no one in the house picked up the phone or else my connection would be lost. Grandkids today, they don’t know the hardships of yesteryear.

Speaking of kids, I bet my grown-up children miss their childhood, where the hardest decision they had to make was picking a crayon.

Nowadays, I'd rather change a tire than a diaper. With that said, you can bet your ass you will never see me change a diaper again, in my lifetime.

If I would have known there would be a Facebook in the future, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbooks. Hmmm that’s a bit too harsh so let me put “lol” at the end of it. For my high school friends, I'm just kidding. You should all know by now that I can’t be friends with sensitive ass people, I joke around way too much.

I think all rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blades so when they spin it looks a halo.

I seriously think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader...

The HBO series "Game of Thrones" is hella exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a damn chair.

Always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations and replace it with "Drinking for two"

Bruce Jenner could attach his new boobs to his damn forehead and I still wouldn’t care..enough about him! Enough about her!

I see the "Seven Deadly Sins" as more of a To-Do list.

My local bar: 

I never realize how funny my life can be until someone asks me what I like to do for fun. A friend at the local bar: 

What did you do this weekend? 

Me: Dug holes in the woods. 

And that, my friends, is how you get people to shut up.

Some people at my local bar need a high five… in the face … with a chair. (Bet you know who I am referencing Noreen!)

When I go to my local bar and then play that time backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.

There's no excuse for my behavior, so I'm drinking until I have one.

Remember, you don't have to go to the bar, after all it's not really drinking alone if the dog is home.

Todays drinking game? Every time you see a Chemtrail you have to take a shot. (I'll be outside)

My questions:

If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?

Do they call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken?

Anybody else wonder about this? That the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid?

We have so many Dollar Stores and Dollar General stores in the United States. If the UK has a dollar store is it called “Pound Town”?

Selling stuff on EBay:

This was my recent ad:

Camo Jacket for sale:

Still hating on Putin:

Recently two of my grandchildren visited and as usual we spent many a night in my sauna. I particularly adore this photo of my grandaughter Skylar. 

The sauna is my place for relaxation. It is my place of physical and mental relaxation. and it’s my necessity. I don't talk much in the sauna, but I do think a lot. That is why I have my "Keep Calm and Hate Putin" sign. Yes, thinking about how much I hate Putin is relaxing to me. 

Sauna Etiquette/Rules:

I was raised with certain sauna rules, which I have taught my children and grandchildren. The most important is that nothing upsets me more than when I am getting a good sweat on and someone else gets up to leave and does not close the door behind them. Nearly as bad is when someone is on their way in, and stops to chat with someone else while holding the door open. When the sauna door is open, it does not take long for the heat to spill out of the sauna.

Geoengineering: 

All I want to say about this is : LOOK UP and WAKE UP! It saddens me to no end to realize how many people are in denial about what is happening to humanity, animals, and our Earth! The next time you see this: 

Be alarmed. Very alarmed. Both of these photos were taken from my back yard. These photos do not show "condensation trails" they are nothing more than pure evidence of "chemtrails". You should learn the difference. I'm sick of hearing comments made by ignorant people that chemtrails are the same as contrails. If you pay attention I think you'll find it hard to say they're the same thing. Let me explain the difference. A contrail occurs when a plane travels at a high altitude (about 30,000 ft. or more) and compresses the air into a water vapor or ice crystals through jet engines or the wing tips pushing through the air. This trail disappears after a minute or so due to evaporation, because it's water. A chemtrail is very different from a contrail. At first a chemtrail might look a bit like a contrail. But, instead of disappearing like a contrail does, a chemtrail just keeps spreading out and forming a hazy cloud bank. These trails travel in the sky, the whole sky, and stay for up to five or even eight hours. They turn what was originally our beautiful clear blue skies into a grey haze. These skies are not what we grew up with people! I am involved in an ongoing battle against the IGNORANCE of Chemtrails, so if you think I'm some sort of conspiracy wacko, stop reading. If you want to learn the truth, then stay with me. Chemical tests reveal aluminum and barium have been sprayed from the planes. The time to deny what we can all see with our very own eyes  has long passed. GEOENGINEERING/CHEMTRAILS exist. Our blue skies are no longer, agencies and people can continue to lie and debunk it, but the truth is the truth. In my county, Shasta County,  rainwater, lake water and soils have been tested, and they all have the typical chemtrail footprint of aluminum, barium and strontium along with other toxic metals. We are breathing these chemicals, we are drinking these chemicals, it is on our skin. 

For you non-believers of what is really happening, take 15 minutes of your time and watch this video! If anything else, watch it for your children and grandchildren. Your great- grandchildren may never be born. The lack of any investigative journalism in our mainstream media should be a huge red flag to every person on earth. Some people only listen to, and believe what they want to hear, the truth, to them, is irrelevant.

https://youtu.be/FeTaejpg18g

Ok, moving on........................

Forgotten Christmas presents: 

I felt ambitious and cleaned out my garage yesterday. I ran across some Christmas decorations on top of my sauna and went through the boxes.  I found a present from last year that I had forgotten to give one of my grandchildren. I was so disappointed! They would really have loved that kitten…

Ut-Oh:

Jeffrey? Jeffrey? That awkward moment when you put something in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is.

Overheard Conversation:

I was sitting with Rich at the bar enjoying a cocktail when he got a cell phone call from Scuba. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation.
Scuba: I’m calling from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Rich: WTF ?????
(My advice to Scuba:  Don’t let regrets about the past or worries about the future rob you of your enjoyment of the present, we all make mistakes. Move on)

For the love of Wolves:

California has been blessed with seven new wolves who has claimed our State as their place of residency! I am excited! Five endangered gray wolf pups and their two adult parents in Siskiyou County. The California Fish and Game Commission voted to list gray wolves as endangered under the California Endangered Species Act in 2014. The gray wolf is also listed as endangered in California, under the Federal Endangered Species Act of 1973. Welcome to California "Shasta Pack" (named for nearby Mount Shasta). This is the first Wolf pack in the State of California in 91 years. I can only hope that the hunters and ranchers leave them be - 

Laura's Horse:

My friend Laura has a beautiful paint horse, no doubt about it. But look at this Paint Horse!

Look carefully. 

This paint horse spells out "Horse" !

Noreen and I went to the Wild Horse Sanctuary a while back and found an even better Paint Horse!

My 2016 Campaign Sign:

Remember, when you see Chemtrails, think of this:

That's it for now - off I go - but remember, If any of you ever need anything I’m just an unanswered phone call away. 

The best part about this blog is that by the time you’ve finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it, right?

It's April already?

My greatest accomplishment for the last couple of months was keeping my mouth shut. Obviously that's a lie, because here I am blogging again. My Finnish cousin in FLORUBA asked where my blog from MEXIFORNIA was, so here it is.  I know you people that read my blog are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away. 

(Yep, sure enough -  my level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not)

My Finnish Sisu: 

When I come to the end of my rope, I tie a knot and hang on. I can hang on forever. I will never give up. I come to the end of my rope quite often, but I certainly know how to tie a good solid knot and hang on. So, if you ask me what I'm up to, I will probably respond with .....Just Hangin'

The Seattle Seahawks: 

Saw this late breaking story from ESPN Sportscenter..........

Pete Carroll, former head coach of the Seattle Seahawks, is reported to be very near to signing on as a special consultant to The Pope in Vatican City. The Pope looks to recruit Carroll to be a spokesman for the Catholic Church because he is the first man in history that made 100 million people jump up and yell "Jesus Christ!" at the same time. More information will be reported as this story is followed. (Not really, I am pretty disgusted with the Seattle Seahawks right now, can you tell?)

My April Complaints: 

You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.

My Doctor said I am supposed to stop all dairy products. If I kick dairy won't I get the milk shakes? Don't think I can do it. I was raised on Darigold products. Life is too short for fake milk, butter, cheese or people. I think I would  have a better chance of surviving The Oregon Trail than giving up my dairy products!

I am really sick of these Liam Neeson's "Taken" movies. I think they should just make make a final “Taken” movie, about Liam Neeson’s character being under appreciated for trying to keep his family safe. Movie Title: “Taken 4: Granted”

The human knee is a lousy piece of engineering and I am thinking of my friend Noreen. This will help! 

I lost my mood ring, and to be perfectly honest - I’m not sure how I feel about this.

Just something to think about: 

Death is an objective fact. Would anyone dare to propose that death is a product of our imagination? I don’t think so. But on the other hand, none of us has yet seen our own death. So how can we know that our death is certain, if we haven’t seen it? We only know by an educated guess or a hypothesis. Everyone in the past has died, without exception. So it is reasonable to conclude that for us, too, death is an undeniable fact. Too "heavy" for you? Yeah, me too.

My April Questions:

Why the hell is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyway? I just think that's really odd. (I bet there’s probably an employee named Jake who works at State Farm, who’s had it with people’s jokes about this)

I spend a really unusual amount of time trying to figure out where the bruises on my body come from. Do I really even want to know?

My thoughts about America and My thoughts about Obama: 

When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?

Obama has deliberately weakened the command structure of our armed forces. I have read somewhere that there were more than 200 high ranking officers relieved of duty and many more have left the service. This is an unprecedented act done by any president in our history and it is very suspicious to say the least. If this doesn't open your eyes and start you rethinking your world view, then you can just stay wrapped in denial and continue singing with the unicorns and dancing in the rainbows. At least until the big awakening bursts your little utopian bubble.

My April Advice: 

Carry your gun everywhere you legally can and carry a trauma kit so you can, if needed, give first aid to those in need. It’s time to think about what you are prepared to do. Gear up. Evil is coming. Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Our Universe: 

I think our universe is so damn awesome.  Like a giant toy store, and aren’t we lucky to live in the time we do instead of the middle ages when the quest for knowledge was punished by burning at the stake?

Speaking of the Universe: And then "something" created Saturn… and it liked it… So it put a ring on it.

As for earth, it's a beautiful place, no doubt about it, but it's an over-populated world with limited resources,  plenty of famine, disease, war, pestilence, natural disasters, and just plain old person-on-person violence. But,  where else are we gonna live?

Just the Truth:

Sometimes I look at all four of my dogs  and my heart physically hurts because I love them so much. People may laugh, but they only WISH they were as loved as any one of my dogs.

After a certain (non disclosed) amount of years on this Earth I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of people.  People  who stay when your life gets rough.  People who leave when your life gets rough.  People who make your life rough.

One fourth of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other three fourths of me is, well, an asshole. What can I say? I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions, or unnecessary conversations.

I totally disagree with the “World’s Oldest Profession” being prostitution because the first man to use a prostitute had to have some kind of job to pay her, right? Yeah, I'm right.

So, the last time I flew, this guy on the plane asked me "So, where are you going to?" (Seriously Dude?) My answer: I’m guessing it’s the same place you’re going. Geez, there really are some idiots in the world aren't there?

Shit happens, just step over it!

Obama took a private plane flight over an Indian Reservation in Parker Arizona -

It certainly appears that  the people in Arizona are looking for a change also.

In alcohol’s defense, I’ve  done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too. Admit it, so have all of you. I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking. Sometimes alcohol is the hand sanitizer for the soul.  To me, “drink responsibly” means not spilling it.

My morning Chai Tea Latte: The original first responder

I’m not totally saying I’m old and worn out, but I do make damn sure that I am nowhere near the end of my driveway on Tuesday trash day.

Did you ask me?

My dream job? It would definitely be the Karma delivery service.

My spirit Animal? My spirit animal might be that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure. Because sometimes I don't know why I do the things I do. Maybe the chicken saw someone from way back, you know, like high school. Just sayin’. Speaking of chickens - They are the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. Ok, that's somewhat disgusting.

Sometimes I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a cute huggable puppy, or just a plate of nachos (Sometimes I wish I was full of nachos instead of emotions).

My parents were so lucky they survived my rebellious phase. It lasted quite a number of years. Me as a teenager: "That’s a horrible idea. Hell YES, let's do it! What time?"

Remember when teenage girls had diaries and  then they got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything on Facebook and get mad when people don’t. Go figure.

The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, it's like being a little kid again - I’ve forgotten where I was going and damn if I don't have to pee. Yep, cold weather gear is great until you have to pee.

For one of my dog’s birthday's I am going to steal a school bus and drive that dog and all the neighborhood's dogs around with all the windows down. What a birthday gift that would be, right?

True story - I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I totally trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person. Hmmm, maybe I should rethink that statement. My friend Kara's new dog doesn't like me. Oh wait, her other dog Reasa does. It's confirmed. One must get to know me before they like me. Even canines. Having pets is weird if you really think about it. You don’t speak the same language, you create a strong bond by being around each other and you even sleep together. Sometimes you might accidentally step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day, you’re best friends and you are from entirely different species. Yeah, it's weird.

If I was to ever date again (and that's highly unlikely) this would be my Facebook status: “Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives” …don't worry, will never happen. The dating or the Facebook.

Ok, ummmm...."American Sniper" proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work. My advice there? Mute your phone. You can't properly scope in on your target chit chatting with your Stateside wife! And why the hell do you have a cell phone in the battle zone anyway? Unreal.

Some people in my life: I see that your lights are on but I also see that someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.

My predictions for the year 2050: 

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest Country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last Castro finally dies.  Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for fifth consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

Gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2051.

63 Pakistanis died this morning. It was not a terrorist attack; a bunk bed collapsed. The police are blaming AL IKEA .

And for any of you who leave your dogs unattended in vehicles, this is for you: 

(you may have to copy and paste)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=p4Zu-a1dWhk

In parting, just want to say: