Just another February

Well, here we are again - The Super Bowl. New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons. I don't enjoy football at all, I don't follow it, I simply don't have any interest in it. I will say if I had to choose one of these teams I would choose the Falcons. I can just see the Patriots fans reactions if their team doesn't win -  New England Patriots fans be like "I refuse to accept the results of this Super Bowl game. On the following day we'll be protesting, picketing, looting, rioting, and forming support groups. #NotMySuperBowl " I mean seriously who can forget QB Tom Brady and the allegation that the New England Patriots deliberately underinflated footballs in the game against the Indianapolis Colts in 2015? Wasn't Brady suspended? Inflategate. Still laughing about that. I suppose it's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters and crab in the ship's kitchen. I suppose deflated footballs are a miracle to Tom Brady. I probably should apologize to any Patriots fans out there. But then, it's me. I don't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth. I just can't help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in. 

My predictions for the future:

2016: Trump was elected President

2018: Border wall completed 

2020: Mexico takes Gold, Silver & Bronze in Pole Vault at the Summer Olympics.

I won't do my normal political bitching so relax........but......I 'm just say'n:

I find it really funny how liberals refer to Trump as an orange s*it-gibbon. If the rest of us referred to Obama using a color and a simeon metaphor, we'd be hung out to dry. Seriously. 

Alls I'm say'n is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any illegal Mexicans bringing in crime and drugs! I think when Trump says Mexico will pay for that wall he doesn't mean the Government but El Chapo's seized 14 billion assets from criminal forfeiture, right? 

And this is from a California poll: 

Do you think that illegal immigration is a real problem?    A. Yes------- 20%     B.  No-------- 10%       C. No comprende---70%

Memories from the past: 

My brother took going to jail really awful. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER EVER played monopoly again.

I always wonder how I can remember lyrics to a song I haven't heard since 1980. But can't, even for a million bucks; remember why I'm just standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Just for fun....because I have a crazy side of me:

I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in my town, then I just sit back to watch the magic unfold.

If I ever put stuff in storage I'm going to write "gold bars", "priceless memorabilia" and "seized drugs" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.

Thinking of you Bridget:  I just want you to know. I removed my windshield wipers and now I don't get parking tickets. 

Just the truth: 

The nice thing about being single is when you're setting the silverware, it doesn't matter which side you put the remote on. 

The brownies my daughter and I  started making in her Easy Bake Oven in 1977 are just about ready if you guys want one. Let me know.

I sent off for some information on my other family tree, you know - on my Mother's Welsh/Irish side. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over. Totally agree.

It's guaranteed to happen. Sitting in the movie theatre, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

I force my dogs to watch animal abuse commercials just to show them how good they have it. I can't watch those ghastly commercials, but I make them watch. 

For my New Year’s Resolution, I had decided to only smoke after sex. If 2016 is anything to go by, I’ve quit. Which brings to mind - I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?

Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.

The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey the Bear thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.

I'm starting to think that life isn't worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there's the bartender now. Nevermind.

I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was my granddaughter Skylar's Etch-a-Sketch and I don't own an iPad.  Also, I'm out of vodka.

When my daughter  visits - We should just drop off my truck at the Sheriff's Department before going out at night so we can drive home in the morning. (If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, we would be unstoppable....oh that in itself is scary!)

The election is over, can't the liberals get over it? I haven’t seen the Democrats so angry since the Republicans took away their slaves.

Just and idea of mine: 

Political candidates should be made to wear NASCAR suits so we can tell who their sponsors are.

Life Lessons: 

No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dogs.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.

It’s always a good time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem. Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!

As always I have questions: 

Why, why, WHY  are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison?

You know what I find questionable? Paintings of Adam and Eve with belly buttons. Think about it.

Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house? And does anyone else find it ironic that "camo" print actually makes rednecks stand out in society?

I know, I've said this before, but come on - on Thanksgiving shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium? 

Ideas for my grandson Jeffrey's career choice:

Military EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) technician. The downside of being a bomb disposal technician? It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts. He would be perfect. This Christmas he took forever. I mean FOREVER. He definitely has the patience!

This is ridiculous!

As it stands now California has a LOT of sanctuary cities and counties. Now the Democratic California legislators wants to make the entire State of California a sanctuary state for all illegal immigrants. Know what that means to us law abiding legal citizens? The U.S. Government will withhold all federal monies from this state when it fails to uphold or comply with federal immigration laws. That's 330 billion California will not receive in grants from the Government. Billions of dollars in federal funding will be withheld.  Think about just how that is going to affect us NON ILLEGALS! Pay attention to Senate Bill 54, written by Democrat Senate President Pro Tem Kevin de Leon of Los Angeles. That bill will also consider providing taxpayer dollars to fund lawyers for illegal immigrants facing deportation. You want me to pay higher taxes to defend illegal immigrants? HELL NO. 

Oh now I'm all depressed - so off I go