Today I want to say “it’s a great day to be alive,” because those are literally my only plans. Other than to bore you with another "blog post".
I wanted to drop my Sheltie, Kesä, off at Petsmart to be groomed and they wanted to keep her for 6 hours. Seriously, 6 hours? My first thought was "Why the hell didn't children’s haircuts work this way back when my kids were little"? My neighbor Marcia let me borrow her dog clippers. I may have gotten a little carried away - I don't know. Whatcha all think?
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| Kesä Stone Fox Järvinen |
Gray Wolf OR-7
Wolf OR7, Oregon's 7th radio-collared wolf, crossed the California state border into southwest Klamath County, Oregon the other day He had been hanging out in Tehama County, Shasta County and Lassen County since migrating to California. He traveled from his known location in NW Lassen County to the Oregon border in 7 days. Amazing. I've been following him ever since he had first crossed into California on Dec. 28, 2011 - he was California's sole wolf, looking for a mate. He wasn't going to find one, which he obviously found out after searching the California wilds for over a year. Wolves throughout Oregon are protected by the state Endangered Species Act, but I still have mixed feelings about him returning home. I will miss following his whereabouts but then again I will feel better knowing that the California ranchers won't be 'gunning' for him now. Unfortunate for his followers like me that Oregon, unlike California, does not post daily location information on their radio collared wolves. I hope he finds his mate and starts his own pack soon. He deserves it.
As anyone who knows me knows - I'm not a religious person. Not in the sense most people are anyway. But I do enjoy Easter for one reason. I love biting the ears and butts off chocolate Easter bunnies.
I'm just not that much into holidays of any kind except for the 4th of July. That's the time my Finnish Wizards and I use Sparklers as wands and shoot spells at people! This coming year it will be important to plan ahead and enjoy one of the last Independence Days before our complete dependence on China.
Just a couple of my thoughts:
I think the U.S. budget is like the infamous Oregon Trail. Our wagons are falling apart and everyone is dying of dysentery.What our government needs is a D.C.S - Department of Common Sense.
The people of today are having unprotected sex. Yet they all have cases on their cell phones. Think about that. Seriously, just let that sink in for a moment.
I hate when cashiers ask you "is that everything"? Oh no, I’d also like all this invisible shit too.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made. Being an adult is stupid. I’d like to be able to be a kid again but only because twirling in circles was acceptable and the only password I had to remember was “open sesame.” Maybe I should not complain too much, after all I have a new sponge in the sink and it just brightened my day a little.
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| Bring back the good old days |
My letter to Congress:
Dear Congress,
Last year, 2012, I mismanaged my funds and this year I cannot decide on a budget. Until I have come to a unified decision that fits all of my needs and interests, I will have to shut down my bank account and I will no longer be able to pay my taxes. I’m sure you’ll understand. Thank you very much for setting an example we can all follow.
If I texted all the time:
I'm at that age where I may have to start changing up my current texting codes to much more age appropriate codes:
BFF: best friend fell, BTW: bring the wheelchair, ATD: at the doctors, FWIW: forgot where I was. IMHO: is my hearing aid on? OMSG: oh my! sorry, gas.
My apology for the week:
To the citizens of Shingletown, please accept my apologies. I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out? Helllloooooo? Anybody out there?
My questions for the week:
Do I turn right, when there’s nothing left? Or do I turn left, when nothing is right?
Did anyone else think that the smurfs finally "grew up” when they watched the movie Avatar, or was it just me?
My advice for the week:
Just the truth and nothing but the truth:
It takes only 7 seconds for food to pass from your mouth to your stomach, the length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb, one human hair can support 3 kg, a woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s, women blink twice as much as men, and your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing perfectly still. Ummmm, while women have already read the entire text that I just wrote, men are still looking at their thumbs.
St.Patrick's Day:
This year I will be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with my gang of leprechauns. It's the least I can do, considering I do have to admit I have 25% Irish blood in me. What time do the shenanigans start? My plans include green beer and drinking at 10am. Really, these folks know how to have fun. The Irish are great story tellers, but not stories from history or stories based on myth - usually stories rooted in their life's experiences. They really can laugh at themselves.
I know I am that wee bit of Irish because:
~ The person that I insult the most is my best friend
~ I'm strangely poetic after a few drinks
~ I don't know the words to the song but that doesn't stop me from singing
~ I can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so I can start talking
~ I have no idea how to make a long story short
~ I have a gift for swearing
~ I'm still scared of a wooden spoon and a wooden ruler
~Mosquitoes love my blood, and leave me looking like a leper.
~I wait until I am in crippling pain or nearly dying before going to see a Dr.
Sooooooo many Irish restaurant and homes, on St. Patrick’s Day, corned beef and cabbage will be the menu. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not in fact an Irish dish at all. It's a fact that beef was not easily available in Ireland and was actually seen as a luxury. A luxury most didn't get to experience much. The truth is the traditional Irish meal centered around ham, the bacon, not corned beef and cabbage. It is when our Irish ancestors got off the boats after immigrating to America that corned beef was the only meat that they could easily and cheaply get their hands on. True story, this is why it has become the meal of choice for generations of us Irish Americans to come (Me, not included). A tradition was born, of having a boiled dinner. For this dinner the corned beef, cabbage, and carrots, turnips, and potatoes were boiled. So, I, contend, because I am Irish and I may or may not like to argue a point - that this dinner is simply not Irish at all.
When the Irish immigrated to America, they couldn’t find a bacon joint like they had in Ireland so they leaned toward the corned beef which was actually similar in texture. We all know that the majority of the Irish immigrants settled in N.Y. They landed there. Why not stay? The bars of early New York offered free meals of corned beef and cabbage to the Irish workers who would gather in the bar after working all day. Of course those Irish would have to buy a few drinks in order to get their free meal. Those immigrant Irish workers were merely enticed by a cheap meal. The corned beef and cabbage dinner is believed by most people to be of Irish origin but it's actually a Jewish dish. Ok, Irish folks - Jeez - don't get your knickers in a twist. Sometimes the truth hurts. Just say'n. Grab a green beer and chill.
Whatever you’ll be preparing this St. Patrick’s Day, whether it’s a corned beef and cabbage dinner or the real bacon and cabbage dinner, or maybe even the Irish Beef Stew - enjoy!
Myself, I will be having an American meal of steak and taters. Or maybe just a bowl of cereal. Maybe just a handful of potato chips. St. Patrick's Day means very little to me - mainly because I don't look good wearing green and I don't particularly look good drinking green either.
As you all know I always end my blog on a joke.....................
Obama
This time two jokes................
U.S. Government
Like I said-long.............But have to admit that it kept me reading to the end. Love ya Cuz
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