Still in my non-descript dark cave in an undisclosed forest in an undisclosed state. I will not give up my coordinates. Don’t ask. Some secrets are best left un-Twittered and un-Facebooked.
I’m not myself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. Proud of myself because I survived yet another day. I’m on quite a roll here.
To begin I have to admit that I have not ‘bludgeoned’ Facebook lately. I will now. What I don’t miss about Facebook? Reading someone’s status and thinking ‘OH CRY ME A RIVER’. Let’s be honest ~ when life gives you lemons, most of you just cry to Facebook or Twitter about it. Some of my family and friends have become hardcore Facebook addicts, but I won’t begrudge them. There are worse things they could become, I suppose. A Human Trafficker, a Meth dealer, a UPS delivery-man groupie, a Twitterer. Still, it's unsettling. I’m thinking of doing an ‘Intervention’ for a few of them. I placed an ad on EBay for my old account: Face book account for sale, Friends included. So far, absolutely no offers.
As 2010 morphed into this one, I, like so many others, held out hope that 2011 would be better than 2010, though not as good as 2000. Because why set yourself up for disappointment? 2011 got off to an unpromising start and just stayed there - unpromising. What bothers me is the passing of our familiar ways. Things that are familiar to me yet will be unfamiliar to my grandchildren - quicker than one can imagine. The changes are everywhere. Blockbuster, which very easily killed out the mom and pop video-stores, is now a victim itself. A victim of the recession and Netflix and those pitiful Redbox vending machines that deliver movies as though they were a Diet Dr. Pepper. So many items on the extinction list. I’m thinking the things children born today won’t recognize in their ‘tomorrow’ are: video stores, catalogs, commercial radio, travel agents, maps, watches, encyclopedias, yellow pages, retirement plans, books, newspapers, knowing how to actually write a letter, and even the United States Post Office. Even “hiding” will be impossible, since even right now your phone is not only in your pocket, it can potentially tell everyone—Big Brother included—exactly where you are at any given time. So I suppose the word ‘privacy’ will be extinct also.
Trying to stay on top of all the changes - when informed, say, that stirrup pants are out, I’m eternally grateful, skinny jeans are on their way out, well—neither were all that flattering on me anyway. Flare pants are back in? Let me think about that one. I reckon I don’t have any worries about any fashion changes - I’m a jeans and denim person. Always have been. Always will be. Something about jeans - they have never gone out of style. Sure, jeans now have bling on them, fancy pockets, what have you, but the original Levi’s and Wrangler’s are here to stay - forever. Once again, I am eternally grateful.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been acutely aware of time’s passage, and my inability to halt it, but I want 2012 to be different. Maybe this will be the year, 2012, I’ll try to be ’nice’ to everyone or even let my aged neighbor out of my padlocked tool shed—we’ll see how it goes.
We’re just a few months away from the start of primary elections and 14 months until the general election. Crap, there goes my TV programming. I like Gary Johnson’s (New Mexico x-governor) remark of “My next-door neighbor's two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than this current administration”. This guy has brass ‘ones’. Paying attention to this contender. The underdog candidate.
On the last Election Day, I woke up early, made my way down to the polling place, a local Church, in the pouring rain like all the other heroes in my town and said hello to some friends in the Republican tent in the Church parking lot, who were passing out donuts and literature. Wasn‘t interested in the literature, but I grabbed two of those donuts. I voted that year, just not for president. As for president, I left my ballot beautifully, gloriously blank. No vote is a vote too. Ok, I lied. But I am only lying about the getting up early and going to the polling place. I’m not an idiot. I’m an absentee voter, I mail my votes in. In my case, my vote was a vote of no-confidence in the available candidates. I voted my conscience and I felt good about my non-decision. Probably a waste of a postal stamp though.
I’m thinking of taking up fishing. I used to fish on Whidbey Island with my eccentric Uncle Chips. He made me fish. It’s not that I wanted to; he literally made me go with him. I was a kid who swam in the creek with my slimy whiskered friends, the salmon, even splashing about with them in the fish ladders. I was not one who wanted to catch them. Time to change. I will be the fisherman, well, actually the fisherwoman who will be unable to pass up promising, or even unpromising, water. Catch and release of course. I will carry my trusty fishing pole with me everywhere. (Does anyone know where I can get a bling adorned pink fishing pole?) Real fisherwomen don't let the perfect be the enemy of the readily available and will fish whatever water lies before them. Seriously. If you have a birdbath in your yard, call me, I'll rush right over. I’m serious about this fishing. I've going to fish cemetery ponds, office-park fountains, and subdivision lakes that have decorative fountains. I’m going to fish the golf courses. I'll no doubt have some verbal matches with golfers. Golfers are cranky by nature. They’ll yell at me to move so as not to get a Titleist implanted in my blonde skull. I will then yell back that they have 17 other damn holes to play, whereas the largemouth bass I’ll be stalking lives in the particular water hazard they want me to leave. Stay tuned, I will blog about my Fishing exploits. I may even post some photos.
There are three kinds of lies. 1. Lies 2.Damned Lies 3. Facebook Statuses
The reason children ask so many questions is because they have an extra why chromosome.
Vacation is what you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer.
I really REALLY hate to see my loved ones leave home. I also miss my fives, tens and twenty’s.
I don’t think our economy has turned around so much as it has backed over us and parked. Several times.
I guess what I’m proudest of the most is my ability to make the tough choices ~ in hypothetical situations. I’ve made enough tough choices in real life to not ever have to make those choices again. I have full-filled my quota. Hypothetical is the only way to go.
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can actually train stupid people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish!
My Saturday Complaints:
In my opinion those ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are crap. They take just as much effort and time to screw in as the ordinary ones.
It’s been a lifetime struggle for me to stop spending my lifetime struggling.
Even though both of my parents have been gone for a number of years now, I’m still upset to learn that my Mom hid my acceptance letter from Hogwarts! She hid it from my father also. He would have been proud. Damn proud.
Remember ~ when it comes to affairs of the heart; always try to avoid EMT’s, electric paddles and the word “CLEAR !”
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Every once in awhile walk outside, look up, and smile for a satellite picture. It will make somebody else smile - don’t know who - but it will.
My Saturday Question:
It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet. I’ve made so many in my life ~ so now I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. Got any ideas of the new mistakes I should be making?
Dear Noah, Hey! We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. WTH?
Sincerely, Unicorns.
Ok, now I am bored. Going to DEFCON 4.
Before I go, I want to share a photo of my neighbor’s dog, Cassie, with my dog, Kesä. Cassie is willing to take Kesä trick or treating this year. As you can imagine, Kesä is pretty excited.
An update on my quit smoking attempt: 1 Month, 3 weeks, 2 Days, 16 hours, 40 minutes. May not seem like much of an accomplishment to some, but for someone who has smoked since she was 14 - it's a HELL of an accomplishment.
Guess I should proof read before blogging - didn't mean to say I'VE going to fish cemetery ponds, meant to say I'M going to fish cemetery ponds, but you all knew that right? Blonde "English". Yes, matter of fact I DID graduate from Issaquah High School.
ReplyDelete