Vickie's Monday Madness

I heard that Muhammad Hosni Sayyid Mubarak has changed his Egypt dictatorship facebook status to 'It’s complicated'. Mubarak resigned as president and he and his family left the presidential palace in Cairo. This of course sparked cheers, horn honking, fireworks, flag-waving, and celebrations from protesters around Egypt. Imagine - the people of Egypt stood up and won . Or did they? Wonder what would happen if America stood up for once? That celebration in Egypt would look like a child’s birthday party compared to the celebration in the streets of the United States if Obama announced he was resigning effective immediately. It's simple people. In America we have an opportunity to overthrow our Government every two years in Congress and every four years in the Executive branch. We just saw a serious overthrow back in November. Actually, a HISTORIC overthrow.   But ~ Egypt ~ this worries me. Egyptians think they will be getting some democracy? Muslim democracy is voting on whether to behead or to stone. This ‘peaceful revolution’ will be an islamic terrorist state within 12 months. Just watch. Egypt, the new and improved Iran and Taliban. Whatever emerges from this burned out "stonepile" that is now downtown Cairo, will not be pro-American nor, friendly towards Israel. Egypt is an 97% muslim country. Mubarack and Barack Obama. Hmmmm....seeing some similarities here. I take back my previous offer to be the new Egyptian President. I don’t need that summer vacation afterall. I’m a woman. I could be stoned to death for being just that - a woman. And I’m not talking ‘drugs’ here, I’m talking ‘boulders’. OMG, what am I doing? I’m discussing politics. I must be brain dead from all the snow. I hate politics.   

America. A country that produces citizens who will cross an ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross a street to vote. But then again if voting actually made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it. Think about this. Americans choose from just two people to run for President yet choose from 50 for Miss America. Why the hell isn’t that reversed? When it comes to electing a President we are forced to choosing between the lesser of the two evils.

On to other world stuff, I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I want to put push pins in all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I have to travel to the very top two corners of the map. Why you ask? - so it won’t fall down. Ok, forget it. The Arctic Ocean just doesn’t cut it for me, and I’m already very familiar with the Pacific Ocean. And now that I think about it, all the stupid pins are going to be on the left side of the world map, specifically Alaska, Canada, and the Western States. I really need to get out more.

Are you watching too much TV and not enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.  It will make you feel less guilty. Works for me. Kill two birds with one stone. 

Childhood? A long time ago. What I learned from my childhood: The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so they can tell when they are really in trouble. For me, the same was true if I heard my first name, because I was called Sis throughout my life. Either/Or. Imagine my fear hearing both at once - Vickie Ann ! Still gives me shivers. Speaking of childhood, at the end of my life, I firmly believe I should get a time rebate for however much time I spent learning cursive. Does anyone actually write in cursive anymore?

I love it when people drunk call me at 2 AM. Not. "Hey, are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving.” WTH. Sometimes I think people should have to take a breathalyzer test before they reach for the phone. Don’t call me at night, after 10 pm unless it’s a freak’n emergency! Don’t text me late at night either. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. DIGNITY is not one of them. I think a simple "Yes" is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you've consumed.

It really sucks when your kids are all grown up and have families of their own. I want kids. I have chores to assign. 

It’s near that time again - tax time.  This will be my first year I won’t be using my Tax Attorney. Which brings this question. On TV, or in a movie, whenever someone gets audited, they have a box with all of their receipts. Who has a box? I don’t have a box. Should I have a box? Here’s my tax advice for you all. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. Seriously. That's advice you can actually take to the bank. I want you all to take my advice: I'm clearly not using it.

I’m hoping I'll never reach the age where I'm old enough to know better. Wait....I am old enough to know better but ~ still young enough to know I can get away with it anyway. Gotta strike that one. I’m hoping I'll never reach the age where I'm old enough to know better.    The ability to strike something out is almost as pleasurable as deleting friends from facebook.

　
Remember ‘Facebookers‘, there’s a thin line between ‘I should do a status update about that’ and ‘I should talk to a therapist about that.’ (nope, I will not stop slamming facebook - see below statement of Deal with it)

Dear Family & Friends ~  There were probably many times when I may have disturbed you, troubled you, pestered you, irritated you, bugged you, or just got on your nerves. So today I just want to tell you.... Deal with it! There are NO CHANGES planned now or in the near future.

If any of you ever need any moral support, I would like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals. But seriously, I'm here for you.