Thursday Madness

Growing up on Disney movies has left me so disillusioned about the small woodland creatures in my forest and their willingness to help me with any chores around here. I merely asked this little guy if he would help me shovel some snow this morning.  You can see from his reaction what his answer was. By the looks of his fat a** I think he could use a little exercise!

Since it is snowing today I am already planning my summer vacation. Egypt needs a new President. I need a summer vacation. This could be perfect. I'm just hoping that their government works like ours, since I don't have a certificate of birth from Egypt. My first Presidential policy would be to make my Presidential home in one of the pyramids. Maybe the one in Giza, outside of Cairo. Yes, I think this would work out rather nicely. You are all welcomed to come visit me. If you don't mind sleeping in a tomb. I'm not sure how good of a President I would be, after all I did have a fight with my shoelaces this morning and it ended in a tie. But I will give it a shot.

Slamming 'Facebook' now ~  If you are going to be offended, stop reading now. If I was to ever join Facebook again, which I have no intentions of ever doing, I would make my Facebook account with the name of 'Nobody' so when I saw the stupid crap people post, I could 'Like' it. And then it would say 'Nobody likes this.'  Facebook: For when the illusion of having friends is all you really need. I recently read that Facebook has reached 500 million users. Congrats to everyone who helped create history’s largest stalker.  All the constant status updates! I guess I just did not care what people were doing every hour on the hour. There should be some kind of update limit. Is it a rule that you must disclose when you go to the gym? And everyone is always going to Vegas. I’m at the gym. I’m in Vegas. I’m at the gym. I’m in Vegas. I’m at the gym in Vegas & I’m having waffles. I'll tell you if its any good in another update 5 mins from now. OMG, how I do not miss the proverbial nonsense of Facebook. Yet, there are so many out there that can't live without it. First thing they check in the morning. They check it at work. They check it throughout the night. You make one comment on one photo/status/wall post and you subsequently get 50 notifications telling you that other people have also commented. It is so obvious that people will tire of how fake most people are, posing that their lives are so great, when we all know full well, each of us can probably count our true 'die-hard' friends on the fingers of ONE hand, the real friends that would be there for us if we got in a jam. If Facebook was no longer available there would be Facebook users literally roaming the streets in tears, shoving photos of themselves in people’s faces and screaming ‘DO YOU LIKE THIS? DO YOU??’ Ok, I feel better now. Sorry Facebook fans, I just need to get it out of my system every once in awhile.

I'm just in one of those moods today I guess. I blame it on the snow.  Now I want to slam Lady Gaga. She was at the VMA's covered with meat. At the Grammys dressed as an egg. Two more red carpet events and Lady Gaga will be a Denny's Grand Slam. Should I even mention the flesh-colored latex condom-inspired outfit she wore on some talk show, topped off  with a ridiculous hat that looked like she was one of the Three Musketeers? What the hell is up with this woman? 

Getting back to the snow ~ It's just nature's way of saying, 'Up yours.' Gotta love Mother Nature.  I feel a special kinship with Mother Nature. She reminds me of myself.  She is one hell of an independent woman, does whatever she wants.  The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom or what it touches. It just keeps coming. Where I live you have two choices: shovel or make snow bears. But I won't complain, after all there's a lot of good things about snow, it makes your property look as nice as your neighbor's, the dogs play in it for hours, and it makes everything outside look magical. And here I was talking to a friend the other day saying "We sure have had a mild winter huh"? Once again, I should have kept my thoughts to myself. I love the snow, mind you, but as I look out the window now it is really piling up. That means work for me. Dragging out the snow-blower, shoveling behind my gate so it will open, hauling even more firewood to a more accessible area, in and out of my snow gear. I blame my daughter-in-law Tammi for my snow. All she has to do is think it and I get it. Stop it Tammi. It's getting too deep.

So, I will end this somewhat meaningless blog with a question for all of you. What do you call a Steelers fan holding a bottle of champagne after Super Bowl XLV? A waiter.

Oh but wait......Please Tammi.....it's too much now!

I'm trying my best......

I'm a little over my head with this snow now............

Stop thinking snow, damnit

Even the little raccoon that was here earlier this morning is overwhelmed

                                                      Think about my woodland critters......

                             And if that doesn't do it......at least think about my neighbor's little dog!

Really....seriously, stop.......