Ramblings from the Forest

I’m just typing some words in a box for you to look at....just me living in the realm of thought, in my own world far away....and enjoying it. ( living vicariously through myself!) I’m actually collecting my thoughts... I’m working on eventually getting the whole set!
It's so quiet here that I can actually hear myself think. No good can come of this.
So, this morning I was out of creamer. Had to use milk. 2% milk, and I’m wondering what the other 98% is...should I be concerned? Probably shouldn’t be overly concerned right? Relax. I’ve already ruined my health by drinking to everyone else's.
This morning before getting my coffee I realized that my hamster died today. He fell asleep at the wheel. OMG...come one, seriously - I don’t have a hamster. At this point you should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
I should go to Hell but thankfully Satan has that restraining order and I’d like to keep it that way.
When I was young and my Dad and I would sit outside waiting to spot that alien spaceship I thought by the time I was - you know, his age at the time, that we would all have personal spaceships and android men that had no feelings or emotions. I was right about the android men, but still would rather have a personal spaceship!!! To match the pink rocket shoes I never seemed to have gotten for Christmas - all those years.
I still think that all men should come with a car fax and a UPS return label.
Speaking of age ~ Life was much simpler when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits, don’t you agree? Oh, now speaking of apples ~ with all the technology available today, you'd think they'd have found a way to grow apples without those damn little stickers. WTH?

I still miss the days of jumping on the hose at the gas station to make the bell ring. Full service was the best. My part to save the world? I like to think I’m saving the planet by tailgating my big ass Silverado behind a Prius. Tell me what you are doing to save the planet!

I have a big weekend coming up! My Star Trek club is going to dress as Klingon’s and ambush some loser Civil War re-enactors. Should be fun. Come on, one day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching. You got to have fun! In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. After all I’m just attending life, and I have no plans afterwards. I have noticed, though, life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line? Now that I've learned to make the most of life, most of it is gone. Still ~ I like to think I am boldly going forward because I cannot find reverse......

(There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Thankfully I have erased this line)

Seriously though, I don’t think I would regret having a safety deposit box stuffed full of fake passports and a million dollars. Where would I go?
Not the Virgin Islands. Given how many times they've been screwed by hurricanes, I really think it's time to change the name of the Virgin Islands. Washington State? Sure would like to enjoy a nice Washington State vacation. The warmth, the sun, the clear blue skies, the fresh air ~ it would be a nice couple of hours.
Not the Ozarks. All the Police cases are unsolved. Everyone's DNA is the same and there are no dental records. Not Vegas. It’s simply not true what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ~ one time my new husband followed me home. Not Asia. The Asian market sucks. Origami Bank folded, Bonsai Bank's cutting back it's branches, Kamikaze Bank nose dived, not to mention the 300 staff at Karate Bank who got chopped. Not Alaska. I finally found out what happened to the Polar Bear from LOST. It's hanging in Sarah Palin's office. Maybe Mexico? If I just fly to Arizona without ID and let them deport me to Mexico, wouldn’t it be cheaper than if I flew directly there? Not Texas. I can never remember whether or not I'm supposed to mess with Texas. Not sure I want to fly anywhere anyway. The last time I did, and the airplane began to shake, I said “Must be an earthquake.” I got some pretty funny looks. I still don’t understand that. The Flight Attendant moved me to a section she referred to as 'Blonde seating'.
Maybe Hawaii? FACT: A shark will only attack you if you're wet. I’ll just stay out of the water.
Just had a thought cross my mind. Must have been a long lonely journey. Oh damn. Lost it.

Here’s my wise thoughts for the day:

Never steal. Our government hates the competition.

The heart is in the center of our body but beats on the left. That is the reason the heart is not always right.

If there is a window of opportunity ... why the hell does it knock? Shouldn't it be a door? No wonder I miss opportunities. I answer the door, not the window.

Never shave your legs when you have goose bumps. I'm just sayin'.

I think it’s still too soon to ask Whoopi Goldberg if she's heard from Patrick Swayze yet.

I am convinced that Michael Jackson's heart did not tell the Defibrillator to just Beat It.

Reincarnation is real. Write yourself a will and leave everything to yourself.

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can actually get you into hot water. This I know from personal experience.

If you have an oven with a 'stop time' button, it's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but don't touch it, just in case.

The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood it's ground.

Ut-Oh....I think my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet connec